I hear a story told in sleep in a lost accent.

Season's Greetings

2011-12-27T18:31:00.000+08:00

I waited very long for this year's Christmas. No idea why, prolly after 7 months of being a soldier, it was the first major holiday to look forward to.

I always look forward to Christmas. For some reason I like the idea of snuggling up near the fireplace while its snowing heavily outside. Or doing Christmas shopping along the decorated streets of Orchard, both which I cannot enjoy because well, I'm in Singapore and in camp mostly.

It is also a beautiful season, with colorful lights that almost seem to have a psychedelic effect rather than the glaring crimson of Lunar New Year decorations.

Anyway, Christmas this year has been pretty good. Spent my eve over at a friend's house playing pool, xbox and drinking. To be honest we have been there so many times for party it feels like our standard party house. Granted the parents are very welcoming too.

Christmas itself was celebrated at my cousins house, at usual, with the good food, gift exchange and the usual catching up. (for them) Contributed a combination of gourmet coffee and mug while I myself received a Cars 2 dvd.

That aside, I did get a few pretty good gifts for myself.

My sister's boyfriend gave me a Logitech G105 gaming keyboard, which is apt as my Lycosa had stopped working for almost a year now and the aging dell keyboard is just plain ugly. The G105, while relatively bulkier, comes equipped with custom hotkeys and volume control keys, something which I lost since my Lycosa spoiled.

Also the keyboard has a blue backlight glow. Something reminiscent of gaming keyboards like, well, Lycosa and the Microsoft Reclusa. Thought the G105's light is more balanced focused and concealed, unlike the Reclusa's which seems to leak everywhere. Kinda like a exploding planet of sorts.

I hope you get what I mean.

Recently, after falling sleep while listening to ipod one night, I woke up to find that hours of sleeping with my earphones on had caused it to lose sound in the right side. Something very familiar with my Sony Ericsson earphones.

Of course, this is a crisis of utmost importance and I immediately went online to find a replacement. With my NS allowance, my budget was bigger and naturally my ear wanted better.

It came down to 3 major brands, Klipsch, Sennheiser, or a-jays. I had Sennheisers before, and was pleased with the sound. Tried my friend's Klipsch and while it was quite powerful the sound was a bit too sparkling for my liking, albeit my friend told me it was a low-end one.

I was drawn to the a-jays line due to its packaging and flat cable characteristic. After doing some reading, I concluded that a-jays one was of mediocre sound, two was more bass driven and three while not as bass heavy, included a travel case. Four was out of the question as it had no accessories at all and was more suited for iphone users as there are buttons for answering calls and such.

After some deliberation, I went with a-jays two. A trip to Tampines Challengers revealed that they had went out of stock so I had to get mine from Simei's East Point.

Then comes the testing. Of course, one would need a playlist of songs to judge and compare, so here's my carefully* selected list of songs from different genres to test its abilities.

1. I Remember - Deadmau5 feat. Kaskade

2. Cinema - Benny Benassi

3. Uncharted -Late Night Alumni

4. In the Ashes -Late Night Alumni

5. Don't Confess - Tegan & Sara

6. I Miss You - Blink 182

7. Undisclosed Desires - Muse

8. Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) - Florence & The Machine

9. I Caught myself - Paramore

10. Heart Burst Into Fire - Bullet For My Valentine

11. What You Do For Money - ACDC

12. Before I Forget - Slipknot

13. We Laugh Indoors - Death Cab For Cutie

14. Sick Muse - Metric

15. Turn If Off Acoustic -Paramore

16. Fair Game -The Like

17. Lupin - Kara

18. Stormwind (City Theme) - World Of Warcraft Soundtrack

19. Halo Theme (Mjolnir Remix) - Martin O'Donnell & Micheal Salvatori

20. Superman Theme - John Williams

* denotes Open to debate.

So there you have it, from dance, house, punk rock, classic rock, metal, to Indie, Acoustic and even Kpop and instrumental/Orchestra.

From what I can hear, the a-jays delivers a much richer bass, accompanied by a noticeably warmer sound that has more 'feel' so to say. The instruments are more accentuated and manages to shine more compared to my old earphones. However when it comes to vocals the a-jays seems to lack as it tends to fade off slightly easier during higher pitches compared my old Audio Technicas. This may prove to be a problem for songs with female vocals, which majority of my songs are. Fortunately one has to focus and be in a very quiet condition in order to notice it so I guess I'm okay with it.

Overall, as stated by the manufacturer (which is a Swedish Company btw) the a-jays are biased towards bass and lacks that extra sparkle in clarity that my Audio Technica has. However it makes up for in having a rich, sweet sound and quite resonant thereof.

In conclusion, it is definitely a step-up from my Audio Technica ATH-CKM30 as it provides a more powerful yet balanced sound and it comes with accessories like Stereo Splitter and Airplane Jack included, the former which I used to compare between my current earphones by listening one on each side. The flat cables also helps to reduce tangling, albeit it may be more prone to microphonics from what I read.

I think I can say the a-jays is comparable to perhaps Sennheiser's CX-200 series, maybe even matching the CX-300. After all this is no beats, but for what it's worth, I think one should never buy beats. The quality of its products warrants $100+, perhaps $200 at best, never those ridiculous prices that they offer.

For a mere $78, I reckon that I've made a pretty good purchase this time.

Look again.

2011-12-04T18:29:00.006+08:00

I'm gonna approach a matter with a rather grim attitude. No, not because I have to book in to camp in 3 hours not that. But rather something I've noticed which I can relate to.

Take a look at this

You're probably thinking 'damn, Adele's such a badass. And it's so true, so does make amazing music.'

Which is what I thought too.

I mean, after all, both of us, Adele and I, we ain't so different. We both have amazing voices (it's true, really) and we both are overweight. That aside, I'd like to point out one line, 'I don't make music for eyes, I make music for ears.'

Pretty spot-on, at first look.

But if you think about it, doesn't really make much sense.

No one makes music for eyes, since our eyes can't 'hear'. That's axiomatic. Just because someone is attractive doesn't mean they cannot make good music. Why do you think pop songs include so many 'hooks' in them? And I ain't talking about the music videos, I'm referring to the riffs, choruses, the tune. Obviously, to attract people, with the sound. When we say a song is catchy it's because we are caught by those 'hooks' and find it to be interesting. And that's basically what music is about. For everyone.

And why the attack on Katy Perry? It's not like Katy Perry isn't a decent singer.

'That's not what my music is about.'

Oh so is Katy Perry singing about bums and boobs now? Not that I remember. What is Adele's music about? Love? Troubles?

Doesn't seem to be much of a difference as compared to other people. Hell, even Justin Bieber sings about love, albeit he doesn't understand shit about it.

Katy Perry easily has a few love songs to her name. So while she's enjoying her fame and fortune along with her pop songs

Music isn't just pure auditory, it needs visual too. That's why we have music videos.

Now let's take a moment to see another picture,

What do we have here. Another statement by her. Now if at this point you're thinking I have something against this woman, I don't. I think she's brilliant, her music is good. But I have a point to make, so just bear with me.

So once again, we can see her criticizing other people for their music. Nicole Richie. Apparently she makes a shitty album because well, she is skinny. My dear, Nicole made a shitty album because her singing is shitty. You make a good album because you have talent. That's why you can sing so well. Also, reputation helps a lot. Although only to a certain extent, as Amy Winehouse has shown us, one can still make good music even when breaking the law.

That aside, she also speaks of 'loving food, hating exercise...no time to workout.'

Because she's a singer.

How about that.

That is just superficial and naive.

Exercise isn't just about making yourself look good so you can appear on Vogue. Let's not even talk about her being on Playboy cause no one wants to see that shit. Anyway, it's about being healthy.

Look at Gwen Stefani, she has an amazing voice, makes good music, and still has abs that put most of my Sergeants to shame.

If she truly cared about making good music, she should instead forget about constantly trying to put people down, stop smoking and start concentrating on singing.

So stop saying stuff like your aim in life is never to be skinny. It's only making you look stupid.

You may think it makes you seem as if you only cared about your music. If you were, stop wearing a shit ton of makeup.

Good music isn't a reason for being fat. To me it just seems like an excuse to be lazy and not exercise.

_________________________________________________________

I'm saying all this because I feel like I could relate. I was like her.

I constantly told myself and people around me that I don't care if I'm unattractive or fat. That it's not like I'm looking for a girlfriend. That I'm in the army and it would look after my health.

That I'm cool as the badass I am and don't give a fuck what other people think.

Well I've lying.

I want people to look at me in respect and say, that's a man who takes care of his health.

I do want a girlfriend. And I ain't going to get one weighing 170 pounds and sitting on my ass all day.

Just by grabbing that low fat milk, juice with 'no sugar added' or chips with no trans fat isn't going to help.

I have to work for it.

After all, I will be a Sergeant soon, and I have to set an example. Being a chubby dude and calling people to do pushups isn't exactly right.

**********************************************************************

On a side note,

Taiwan was fun. At least the one and a half days of R&R. It has come to my attention that Singapore girls having rather boring fashion sense compared to our Taiwanese counterparts.

I'm not saying all of us vs all of them. Just that our population of ah lians is making people look bad with their shorts and tank top combi. And I have seen Singaporean girls that dress up very well. Don't get me wrong.

As for guys, seems to me like its almost international for the teeshirt, bermudas and slippers set. Everyone's comfortable.

And everyone's happy.

P.S. Their fried chicken and bubble tea is insanely good. Of course, you'll have to know which are the good ones.

Head High, Heavy heart

2011-11-01T23:52:00.001+08:00

Leaving for Taiwan in a few hours.

About 3 hours to be exact.

I'm excited because it's my first flight since Primary 5. That, and the 2 days of R&R that we'll be getting. Or rather 1 day since first day is controlled tour.

Bummer.

Other than that, I'm gonna try my best to survive the training. It's not tough, but its mindfucking.

The fact that every single one of my instructors come with a custom made in-built loudhailer doesn't seem to help.

Argh.

What's worse, most of the shows are having break and I have no shows to put inside my iPod, resulting in a spammage of BBT. Oh well, at least there'll be plenty of episodes when I return.

If I do return. (ooh hardcoreeeeeee)

Wanted to blog a topic-based post but got lazy and spent my day watching movies instead. Shall do it when I come home. Hope I still remember the topic. It's been on my mind for sometime and I've been wanting to talk about it for a while now.

ANYWAY.

Have to go bathe now.

I hate this feeling.

That I forgot to bring something.

That I will to miss my family.

That when I'm going to sleep, they're still up and watching TV or surfing net.

I'm a wimp, ain't I.

How could you so, so easily fold?

Bemused.

2011-10-09T20:02:00.003+08:00

So I made a typical comment about women doing laundry on twitter recently. And immediately came under a barrage of attacks from other females claiming I was chauvinistic and well, misogynistic as one says.

Really?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but everyone have been making jokes about other races in schools, even with friends who are of the race in the jokes. And everyone laughs along. Because its good fun, isn't it? People make fun of us Chinese and we too laugh at the jokes, look at our eyes and then burst out laughing again. Because yes, our eyes are like Brock's from Pokemon.

My point is, nobody's taking all these stuff seriously, because we didn't mean it in the first place.

Right.

Yet when I went ahead and made a stereotype I get criticized and frowned upon.

So let me get this straight, girls. It's okay when we joke about guys and other races because it's so funny and true but everything's is derogatory and insulting to the female species when we make a single sandwich/kitchen/laundry (sorry, couldn't make up my mind) reference?

Sigh, women logic. I just don't get it.

Anyway, gonna book in in about an hour from now.

Due to live firing this weekend I'm only booking out in 2 weeks.

The longest confinement since BMT.

Life sucks.

Okay who am I kidding.

NS sucks.

Goodbye world.

Irrelevant.

2011-09-10T15:47:00.002+08:00

It is pretty late for me to suddenly bring this up, but I just felt like saying something and thought I'd pour it out here.

paramore.

They're not who they used to be.

Now you can go ahead and call me a fake fan or whatever. At this point, I don't care much for that. paramore is gone. Accept that fact. What is left, whoever are those people performing up there on the stage, thats not paramore. They may be called Paramore, have merch that bear the name oh so proudly, be able to gather thousands of people to chant the name, but they're not it.

At least not the one I loved.

When the Farros left a part of my life was gone. Yes, paramore was a very big deal to me. I knew at the moment when I read that tweet, that I would never ever get over it.

The brothers were undoubtedly part of why paramore was so awesome. Together, they were fun. Without them, paramore seems to have lost its juice. Their new songs, bland and empty. Yes, Hayley may have sweetened the taste with her glorious vocals, but the music remains mostly uninteresting. Perhaps the new songs haven't caught up to me, but I definitely remember first hearing Brand New Eyes, and falling in love with it.

Monster? Renegade?

Not so much.

And it hurts more when they moved on so quickly. I understand they have to keep the fans happy and continue making music. Yet, I saw something which tells me that it was over. It's but a mere t shirt, with 5 words on it, that says "Paramore is still a band".

These 5 words did it for me.

It showed me the ugly side of the issue. Like a disgruntled, sore loser, they had to come up with this to convince people that they are doing fine. It's feels as if they're trying to say that they do not need the Farros at all. I don't know about you, but it looks like a cheap shot to me.

Honestly, my first reaction when I saw the shirt was 'what the hell...' and then disappointment.

Nice try guys, Paramore is still a band, but they're no longer THE band.

I hope that merch aren't really controlled by the members of the band and so maybe I can have some closure in believing that they arent so heartless after all.

Now I know I'm not being fair since there have been members who joined and left paramore also, but it's just that the band that I first listened to, I first fell in love with, no longer exists.

If someone wants to continue loving this new band, then very well, go ahead. I won't be judging you or forcing my opinion upon you.

And I know what I'll do when someone in the future comes up to me and says

"Hey! Have you heard the new Paramore single?"

To which I'll reply

"Nah I'm sorry, never did listened to that band much. But I remember this band years ago which I loved a lot that had a similar name. Yeah, that was the bomb."

After all, what's Justice League without Batman? 2 and a half men without Charlie Sheen? Fall Out Boy without Patrick Stump? paramore without the Farros?

You get my point?

Square root of 3.

2011-08-07T12:35:00.001+08:00

I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

Has quietly come waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

- Kumar in Harold And Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay

Breathe out.

2011-07-16T16:04:00.004+08:00

Haven't been blogging lately. In fact, I haven't blogged in about 3 months, since I entered BMT. All I ever do is come here and change songs. I'm also tired of having to clear the chatbox regularly.

Thinking of doing away with it.

It's not like anyone comes here anymore.

I miss BMT.

We had a good run in Ulysses, us, Section 4.

Everyone said BSLC will be slack.

But it doesn't seem that way for my company. We aren't even allowed mp3s, which were free to use during BMT.

How will I ever be able to survive week after week of trips from Tampines to Pasir Laba and back I would never know.

I even bought iPod Touch just for this.

Waste of money

At least at my section mates are with me for this 2 months.

Silver lining.

The Midnight Game

2011-04-25T01:36:00.004+08:00

Friend of mine told me that the One Man Hide and Seek stuff was good, and for me to add more.

So here goes another,

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“The Midnight Game” is an old pagan ritual used mainly as punishment for those who have broken the laws of the pagan religion in question. While it is mainly used as a scare tactic to not disobey the gods, there is still a very real chance of death to those who play the Midnight Game and there is an even higher chance of permanent mental scarring. It is highly recommended that you DO NOT PLAY THE MIDNIGHT GAME.

For those few thrill seekers searching for a rush or for those delving into obscure occult rituals, these are the simple instructions on how to play. Do so at your own risk.

INSTRUCTIONS

PREREQUISITES: It must be exactly 12:00 AM when you begin performing the ritual, otherwise it will not work. The materials that are required include a candle, a wooden door, at least one drop of your own blood, a piece of paper, matches or a lighter, and salt. If you are playing with multiple people, they will all need their own of the aforementioned materials and will have to perform the steps below separately.

STEP ONE: Write your full name (first, middle, and last) on a piece of paper and put at least one drop of blood on the paper. Allow it to soak in.

STEP TWO: Turn off all the lights in the house. Go to your front door, which must be wooden, and place the paper with your name in front of it. Now, take the candle and light it. Place the candle on top of the paper with your name.

STEP THREE: Knock on your own door 22 times (The hour MUST be 12:00 AM upon the final knock), then open the door, blow out the candle, and close the door. You have just allowed the “Midnight Man” into your home.

STEP FOUR: Immediately relight your candle.

This is where the game begins. You must now lurk around your now completely dark house with the lit candle in hand. Your goal is to avoid the Midnight Man at all costs until exactly 3:33 AM. Should your candle ever go out, it is because the Midnight Man is near you. You must relight the candle within the next ten seconds. If you are unsuccessful in relighting the candle, you must then immediately surround yourself with a circle of salt.
If you are unsuccessful in both of these, the Midnight Man will then induce a hallucination of your greatest fear until 3:33 AM. If you are successful in relighting the candle, then you may proceed. If you are successful in creating the circle of salt, you must remain within the circle until 3:33 AM. You must continue until 3:33 AM without being attacked by the Midnight Man or being trapped within the circle of salt to win the Midnight Game. The Midnight Man will then leave at 3:33 AM and you will be safe to proceed with your morning.

Staying in one spot the entire game will only result in the Midnight Man finding you. It is HIGHLY advised that you continue moving throughout the game.

DO NOT turn on any lights during the Midnight Game.

DO NOT use a flashlight during the Midnight Game.

DO NOT go to sleep during the Midnight Game.

DO NOT use another person’s blood on your name.

DO NOT use a lighter to substitute for a candle. It will not work.

AND DEFINITELY DO NOT attempt to provoke the Midnight Man in ANY WAY.

That is all. Have fun.

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Taken from "http://inuscreepystuff.blogspot.com/2010/08/midnight-game-instructions.html"

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This I actually dare to try, if I had some friends to do it with me (obviously).

Pretty rad stuff, I say.

Anyone game?

The One-Man Hide And Seek

2011-04-24T23:04:00.001+08:00

Taken from "http://sayainunderworld.blogspot.com/2008/09/one-man-hide-and-seek.html"

Introduction:

The one-man hide and seek, aka the one-man tag, is a ritual for contacting the dead.

The spirits which are wandering restless on the earth are always looking for bodies to possess. In this ritual you summon such a spirit by offering it a doll instead of a human body.

Warning: If you have psychic abilities you may feel unwell or be prone to accidents during the ritual.

Things you need:

+ A Stuffed Doll with limbs
+ Some Rice (enough to stuff the doll full)
+ A Needle and a Crimson Thread
+ A Sharp-Edged Tool (such as a Knife, a Glass Shard, or Scissors)
+ A Cupful of Salt (natural salt would be best)
+ A Hiding Place (preferably a room purified by incense and ofuda)
---------------------------------------------
Preparation:

1. Take all the cotton (or whatever it is stuffed with) out of the doll, and stuff it instead with rice*1.
2. Clip a bit of your nails and put them inside the doll, and sew the opening up with the crimson thread. When you finish sewing, tie up the doll with the rest of the thread *2.
3. Pour water into a bathtub.
4. Place a cup of salt water inside the hiding place.
-----------------------------------------------
How To Do It:

1.Give a name to the doll (the name could be anything but your own)
2.When it is 3 am, say to the doll "__(your name) is the first it," three times.
3.Go to the bathroom and put the doll into the water-filled bathtub.
4.Turn off all lights in the house, go back to the hiding place and switch on the TV.
5.When you have counted ten with your eyes closed, go back to the bathroom with the edged tool (a knife, etc) in your hand.
6.When you get there, say to the doll ,"I have found you, __(the doll's name)," and stab the doll with the edged tool*3.
7. Say "You are the next it, __(the doll's name)," as you put the doll back in its place.
8.As soon as you have put the doll down, run back to the hiding place and hide.
------------------------------------------
How To Finish It:

1. Pour half the cup of salt water into your mouth (don't drink it; keep it there)*4 and get out of the hiding place and start looking for the doll. The doll is not necessarily in the bathroom. Whatever happens don't spit out the salt water.
2. When you find the doll, pour the rest of the salt water which is left in the cup over it, and then spray the salt water in your mouth over it as well.
3. Say "I win," three times.

This supposed to end the ritual.
After this make sure you dry the doll, burn and discard it later.

MOST IMPORTANT
Please don't stop this ritual halfway. You must do it through to the end.
This is a dangerous ritual and I will not be responsible for what happens to you if you try.
---------------------------------------------
Other things to keep in mind:
+Don't go out of the house until you have done the finishing ritual.
+You must turn off all lights.
+Keep quiet while hiding.
+You don't need to put the salt water in your mouth all the time. You only need to do it during the finishing ritual.
+Remember, if you are living with someone you might put them in danger too.
+Don't continue this ritual for more than one or two hours.
+For safety reasons, it might be best to keep all the doors in the house unlocked (including your front door) and have some friends close by so that they can come and help you at a moment's noice, if you ever need them. Keeping a mobile close at hand would be a good idea too.

---------------------------------------------
NOTES:
*1 - the rice represents innards and also has the role of attracting spirits.
*2 - the crimson thread represents a blood vessel. It seals the spirit(s) up inside the doll.
*3 - by cutting the thread off, you break the seal and release the spirit(s) you have trapped.
*4 - if you go out of the hiding place without salt water, you might encounter "something wandering around" in your house which might harm you in some way. Apparently the way to feel the presence of the "something wandering around" is to watch "what happens to the TV."
--------------------------------------------

I really feel like trying this. But half of my mind is scared that something will happen.

And the other half agrees.

Rhinorrhea?

2011-04-23T23:23:00.001+08:00

Ugh.

Feeling kinda feverish now.

With a runny nose.

For the past week I've been sleeping at 4 -5 am and waking up at 11+, with today being an exception - 9.25am. Obviously for a reason.

I'm telling you guys man, even my body, trained through years of sleeping late cannot keep this up for long. I feel like I'm getting old. For my A levels I slept at 5+ am and woke up at 7am. That's right. You heard me, less than 2 hours of fucking sleep.

And I'm not saying I'm proud of it.

Of course the late night mugging was a result of poor preparation. Perhaps that's why I got such shitty results.

But I must say, I honestly did not feel tired when I was in school doing my exams. Something must've happened. Like my handwriting, for instance.

Anyways, I hope that taught me a lesson. Victory Loves Preparation. Yes I ripped that off 'The Mechanic'. Lol.

Jason Statham is so fucking cool.

Wait, what?

Okay so I finally completed Portal 2 today. Well not really finally, considering I only spent a few hours on it. But damn were those hours well spent.

Frankly, I didn't think it'll be possible to top Portal's Still Alive. Yet once again, those guys at Valve managed to surprise me.

I won't spoil it for anyone (although I don't think any of my readers play Portal at all) but I'll just say that I felt the ending was brilliant and well done.

So right now I'm here listening to Zero 7 while trying to churn up a random post before I turn it for the night. Looks like I'll finally be getting more than 5 hours of sleep tonight.

I wanted to do a long post initially but just couldn't get around to doing it. Needs a lot of pictures and I'm suuuper lazy.

Actually I wanted to do it tonight but alas, I'm sick. No can do, pals.

Sigh, looks like my body's failing before I even enter NS.

On a side note, I want to go cycling. Not some short trip but not a cross country either. Something like ECP to Changi would be ideal.

I miss the days.

No or Yes

2011-04-08T02:12:00.006+08:00

Ive said it before and I'll say it again.

I can't take people who are easily influenced by critics seriously.

We are all familiar with this situation. We see a trailer, we get hyped for months. Then just before it is released, you and your group of friends decides that it'll be a good movie to watch. After it's released, critics give their opinion, some positive, some negative. But as always for some people, criticism always seem to dull more than praises can shine. As such, they get discouraged.

"I don't think that's such a good idea", They say.

And that's how your plan to watch the movie was ruined.

One of the times I remember when it happened was with Cloverfield. Yes, that monster flick by J.J Abrams which was (in)famous for the shaky cam tactic. While it wasn't the first time anyone used this style of film-making (I believe Blair Witch was the pioneer), it was still fairly new to most of us.

So naturally, those who cannot accept new perspectives say the movie 'sucks' because they cannot see anything. Well, let's put it this way. Say someone solved a math question but you can't do it, the problem therefore lies with you and not within the question, right? Similarly, the movie is perfectly alright because many people who watched it understand most if not all of what's going on and if for some reason you cannot...perceive, then it is you, the viewer that is to blame.

FYI, I watched the movie, and I loved it.

And the same thing happened with, Sucker Punch. Which is mainly the reason why I even blogged about this in the first place. See, I have this friend, who I shall not name, is a fan of a particular gaming/forum website which also does articles like reviews for movies and such.

I presume, that you should be able to see this coming a mile away.

Anyways, so being a fan of typical guys stuff (as it is in my DNA) I found the trailer for Sucker Punch to be absolutely enthralling. I mean, c'mon. Girls is skimpy outfits? Dragons? Samurais? This trailer, is literally a peek into heaven. Uh-huh.

So yeah, I told him about it, and since he never heard of it before he went to see the trailer on YouTube. Where nothing happened because well, he's a guy. And all guys find Sucker Punch trailers nice. Unless of course y'know you're more of the Elton John type but hey, I'm cool with that too. I mean I ain't judging anyone here, pal.

And all's good you know, we decided to go catch it with the rest of the guys when the enlisted ones book out and such.

But then moments later, he links me this review from the website I told you earlier about. And this guy here loves, and I mean Loves with capital L, that website. For some reason. And it just so happened that the review sorta slammed the movie and it seemed to completely change his opinion of the movie. Just like that. One review.

Seriously.

We were on skype at that time, and I said you know, "Well, I'm still gonna watch the movie if you ask me.'

And he replied with a rather curt 'Okay.'

Now I don't know 'bout you but it sounded to me like he was....unhappy? That I wasn't paying much attention to the review. Perhaps I looked too much into it. Perhaps not. Either way, it doesn't look like his opinion of the movie is changing anytime soon and the plan to watch the movie sizzled and frizzled up like a potato chip packet in a microwave.

Another friend also told me it was 'meh'. Okay I don't mean no disrespect, but frankly, it was your first date with your then prospective girlfriend. I would think you concentrated more on how to impress her later on rather that on the movie.

As for me, I still wanna watch it. Yes, I have not yet watched the movie because I cannot seem to find anyone who wants to go watch. You know how is it like, one guys says no the rest become doubtful and suddenly no one feels like going anymore.

That sucks.

And you avoiding my question isn't helping either.

I mean come on as far as I know, if I like a movie, I'm gonna watch it. I don't really care how bad the critics are, at most I don't go to the theaters for it. But I'm still going to watch it. Okay? It's not like I'm buying a car or something where the opportunity cost is insanely huge. It's just a movie. Get real. You like it, you watch it. Don't let words from other people's mouth stop you.

Now you might be thinking maybe I'm one of those who are easily affected by praises but I'm afraid that's not the case. I've heard great things about a movie called The King's Speech. I watched the trailer...wasn't very thrilled. But I am a bored man and hence I eventually got around to watching it. I must say although it is fairly interesting to see how the protagonist slowly overcomes his obstacle, there's is just nothing more to it. People told me it won what, Best Screenplay? Best motion picture of the year?

I just don't see it.

I mean it's just about this dude taking advice from a guy on how to speak properly. There isn't even any uhh....cinematography? And if you're talking about scenes of the interaction between the characters..I'm sorry. I just don't see how is it so good.

This is where, yes, you can certainly say I'm to blame but hey, I accept it, okay?

I'm not saying it's a bad film, I just won't see it again. Say, if I can watch either The King's Speech or The House Bunny again, I would have to go with the latter. Simply because it makes me interested, makes me laugh. I enjoy it.

And that's what important, isn't it?

By now (if you haven't been bored and are still reading), you should have realized that this was more of a rant rather than an well thought-out post.

And you're right, it is. I was unhappy with how some people are so easily swayed and I came here to rant.

It's what I always do.

Misfortune Cookie.

2011-04-01T15:19:00.000+08:00

I think 'DanceforJapan' is the dumbest shit ever.

Let me explain the situation first,

Okay so obviously everyone by now should've known that Japan recently suffered a horrific natural disaster. It's been everywhere and if you're able to get on the internet to read this there is no fucking way you don't know about it.

Anyways, since it occurred I've noticed that the topic #prayforjapan has started to trend on twitter. With some of my friends trending it too. One even started retweeting multiple prayforjapan tweets.

Now it's not like I have anything against Japan or anything but honestly? Do you think praying to some assumed existence of an entity is going to save the entire country from the disaster?

It has already happened. Focus on helping the poor folks. I'm talking about donations and stuff like that. Things that can actually make a difference. Not sit on your ass reading tweets off your iphone and retweeting them to show that you 'care'.

Before you start judging me, I have to say that I have nothing against most religions. And if you really think praying is going to help them, then by all means go ahead. None of my business.

But don't you start pestering people to join in you're efforts.

Some may say that when more people pray, the more it 'gets noticed'. Really?

Let's put it this way. Millions are suffering now in Japan. Many are religious. Don't you think they would've prayed for their own safety, and that their god would 'notice'?

It's like when you're in WoW. You experience a problem and send a ticket to GM. Sometimes it gets noticed and he replies you, solving your problem. Sometimes, not so.

However, in times when disaster strikes, let's say, a major glitch, like upon entering Stormwind one gets teleported to Ogrimmar that sort of shit, I'm sure many people would sent tickets.

Which I feel is unnecessary in the first place.

Obviously, GMs would be monitoring the servers almost 24/7 and shit like that doesn't go by unnoticed for long.

So as for Japan's case, I'm pretty sure whatever saviour the people are referring to would've have noticed it.

And if the saviour truly exists, why the fuck would he/she ever allow such a thing to happen to those folks. People who are saying that 'he' does this so that we will know the extent of his wrath and to remind us 'he' exist, are sick fucks.

My view, is that yes, there's a probability that God exists. But He is not exclusive to us humans. As such, He does not exist solely to save us from destructions.

And if He exists, then his job is to watch over the entire existence of the universe and well, do things as he pleases. We then, are mere pawns.

One thing I find even more ridiculous is that when people's prayers go unanswered, they respond by saying 'Oh, it's god's will then.'

Well then if its god's will all along then why do you even bother praying.

Seriously.

Okay, I digress.

Back to topic. So, after a while I sorta calmed down about the whole prayforjapan. But then that someone on twitter began announcing about an event he and his friends are organizing, called DanceforJapan. (Because dancing is totally what comes to mind when one thinks of providing aid)

I'm assuming, at best, that they are doing it for charity causes. You know, raise awareness and shit like that. Which is still pretty redundant if you ask me since well, which dumbass wouldn't know about it by now.

Apparently, I think its dumb and worst case scenario, they're just using Japan's misfortune as an excuse to dance and show off their 'talents' and garner attention.

Honestly, I don't see how dancing is ever going to help Japan in any possible fucking way. If, IF, you're talking about those slow emotive dances that invokes sadness in people, then maybe there's some meaning to it. But no, as much I don't know him that well, I know enough that the only dance he knows are hiphop and stuff like that. Namely popping.

So yeah. Pop away while Japan suffers.

Because you're cool like that.

Seriously, I'll like to see how you react when someone you know passes away (touch wood) and all your friends turn up at the wake in baggy clothes with a wide selection of fashion disasters and start dancing along to some weird tunes.

"Don't worry Ma! They're only here to commemorate Grandpa's death!"

Man, it feels so good getting that off my mind.

TracingPatterns

2011-03-02T05:04:00.001+08:00

You know I've been thinking, perhaps Twitter kinda killed the blogger in me.

Whenever I have these thoughts in my head I save them up and when the time is right, often when they're bursting at the seams, I pen them all down in one shot. Or rather type them for the case of blogging.

However Twitter has seemed to almost completely remove the need for that as now when I have a certain thing to say about my life or just anything in general I turn to Twitter and honestly, a tweet is so much more simpler than having to write up a post.

Also, it allows for you to get whatever's bugging you off your mind quickly as you tweet about it and then forget it ever happened. Blogging on the other hand requires time and effort (at least for me it does) and sometimes after dragging it for too long I forgot what I wanted to say and when I finally got reminded of it again I just whip out my phone and tweet about it.

In fact, I initially wanted to tweet this whole 'twitter and blogger' post. The first line, at least. Which is where advantages of Blogging show.

Obviously, one cannot write essays and tweet them. You probably could use the tweet longer application which my phone doesn't have but then again no one ever tweets an entire essay. The longest I've seen so far were the max long paragraphs.

Besides, it would take a lot of work to slowly type it on the phone compared to the computer keyboard.

My point, which I only just arrived at, is that Blogging encourages you to at least open up more and share more of what you feel. It enables you to get the entire story across and not just the general idea.

Also, blogging for me, is kinda more for my personal events since more people read my tweets rather than my blog on a regular basis. After all, they're all these lil' bite sized information that make for easy digestion, so I guess I'm not surprised.

And although I lock my Twitter, which means I can disallow the person whom I don't want prying into my life from following me, it is not such a simple thing to do. There are some friends who are really kay-poh and when they request to follow you, you really feel like ignoring their request and just let them die. Yet, they're after all your friends and you'll be seeing them at least every now and then. Therefore, it's easier to write my personal stuff in my blog rather than denying their request and have them probing me and annoyingly ask why am I not approving their request.

That said, my blog is not exactly safe too. I mean, I don't lock my Blog to selected readers and neither do I keep it in secrecy. (its link is on my twitter and Facebook profile page)

However, I have no qualms about it as the people who bother to read my blog are majority my close friends whom prolly know what I am talking about...most of the time.

Certain people who like I said, trying to be kay-poh would find their interests in my life dulling as they set foot here. And I'm not making this up. Someone once told me that my blog was boring and uninteresting and suggested I blog about more interesting stuff.

Well, can't please everyone can I?

And although I consider criticism to be advice, I had absolutely no idea what the person meant by 'interesting stuff'. To be honest, I felt my posts were interesting. Why else would I even blog about them in the first place. And seriously, it's my blog, hello? I don't live to please you, or anyone for that matter (except you, of course. but you don't read my blog so nvm) so why would I change my style to suit your taste.

Oh and for what it's worth,

"Bitch, you come to my blog you will read my posts the way I fucking write!"

- Adapted from Lafayette of True Blood.

Amazing character from a great show.

Still, I don't think I captured the intensity of the original line. To help you get the accurate idea of what I mean, I've embed the video of the scene here.

To those who have never watched the show and are wondering about his sexuality in the show, yes. Yes he is a homosexual.

And he's twice the man Justin Bieber will ever be.

Sometimes I'm amazed at how off topic I can manage to drift off.

What appears to be my first post of March about some Twitter and Blogging thing became a rant and now I'm promoting the show.

That's right, go watch True Blood if you haven't yet.

None of that vampire diaries bullshit. True blood has the more accurate portrayal of vamps. I'm sorry fans of Stefan and Damon, but Eric Northman will rape both of them upside down if they were ever to get into a fight. He's friggin' 1000 year old ffs.

Oh and Twilight is so 2007 for me. I was sec 3 then. Somehow it interested me. Yes, I still follow the movies but only to see how they bring the books to the big screen.

Anyway, it 5am right now and yet I don't feel sleepy. Prolly coz I slept from 11+ to 2+ just now after returning home from Aloysius's birthday celebration. Which leads me to 'I am number four'. The show which had great potential, yet a poor delivery. What could have been a great franchise was parred with weak plot (at least in the movie) and cheesy scenes. At least the action was satisfying and the girls were hot.

Okay maybe the movie wasn't that bad.

Sigh.

Results on Friday. Don't think I can sleep peacefully until the day arrives.

Shitttt..............

Lacrymosa and Zeneth

2011-02-26T19:07:00.009+08:00

A simple meal of Yakitori.

A short walk with a cup of Mocha Ice Blend in my hand.

Best 2 hours of my life.

I'll keep you locked in my head.

Until we meet again.

And I won't forget you, my friend.

Chinese New Year

2011-02-11T04:34:00.004+08:00

Contrary to many people, I think this year's CNY may have been the best one I had so far. It was filled with many events, outings, and meetups.

Of course, I do not deny the allegations that the rainy season just before CNY was dampening (no pun intended) everyone's mood and kept the hype over at Chinatown suppressed. I remember every year prior to this, my parents would go to Chinatown before CNY and shop together with thousands of sweaty, enthusiastic Singaporeans who had no idea what they wanted to buy. Lots of shouting, bargaining would ensue throughout the night.

While I have never even joined them once, the wet weather still definitely rained on my parade (again, not intended) as well as theirs. Since they did not attend the annual auntie-uncle gathering at Chinatown, they stayed at home and ka-cheow me. What could have been a peaceful night of gaming and listening to music became the usual loud-tv-beside-me routine as the old man in the house watches his China programs on mio-isuck-TV.

So, where were we. Uhm, Chu 1 went pretty well. As usual, all my paternal side relatives came my house and I had to wake up early in the morning to help my mom prepare all the food. As many of you may know, I'm not a fan of socializing, although that may not necessary mean I'm not 'friendly' as someone may think. Anyways, following my sister's advice, which is to busy myself with the kitchen so that I need not socialize with the guests, I succeeded in maintaining a low profile. However the dinner with my cousins did make us realize that we do not hangout often, or even not all. I'm not surprised, to be honest. I was never close to them, more of a maternal side cousins kinda guy. I mean, I don't even have their facebook or phone number, and they're my direct cousins. Long story short, they suggested going Butter Factory. Like okay, first outing and it's to a club. Oh well, I guess it could work.

At least the young'uns won't be coming with us.

Can't really stand them.

The second day was going to a gathering at my maternal side and I think it was at there where I learnt how to play this game called In-Between.

Now, as some of you may know, my A levels had ended and I got a part time job to kinda support myself for the time being. As such, I have some spare cash to spend and hence this year's stakes at Blackjack rose from usual 50c bet to 2 bucks. After many rounds, 2 Blackjacks and 1 ban-ban, I ended up with a profit of around 26, 28 dollars? Can't really remember. It wasn't much, I admit, but hey, a profit's a profit.

And this is where In-Between comes in. Initially, I was shocked to how my sis almost lost 70 bucks last year. (she ended up winning 150 bucks, which was a miracle) This was partly due to everyone's bet being a mere 20c. How the hell does one win so much with such small stakes? And this was no inter-classmates game where the only cash you see are shillings, this was with working adults who have blue and red notes all over the table.

Anyways, it was after a few rounds then I knew how it worked. And hell I did know the dangers. For I lost 30+ in one round.

There goes my profit from earlier on.

Alright, I was planning to explain the entire shit but after noticing that it's 3:50am and I have to wake up at 10+ tmr, l decided to just skip that.

Basically, the money just piles up and if someone bets all and they lose, they pay double the amount and the stakes on the table doubles. Hence, a 4 dollar game may soon be 8, then 16, then 32, then 64 and you probably know the rest of the numbers as they're similar to Hard disk memory numbers.

It sounds like complicated shit but yeah it is pretty simple to understand after playing a few rounds.

On Saturday, the secondary gang hung out together at Mrs Wee's house at evening, which was, to be frank, pretty boring. After that, the guys clique went to stayover at Lincoln's house where we played more Kinect and few of us took turns to play Amnesia: The Dark Descent. As you can probably tell from its name, it is a scary game and what is good about it is that instead of clichéd sudden scares it builds fear through its engaging storyline and atmosphere. Kinda like Dead Space. Except in Dead Space, despite being only an engineer, you have access to tools and weapons and hence you have some sort of sense of security, like at least you have some defense.

In Amnesia however, you're just some random dude in an asylum (I think?) and you have to solve puzzles to regain your memory about what had happened there. You have absolutely no defense against the game's enemies and the only thing you can do is run or hide. Yeap. So its always flight, not fight. Which is why I regard the gaming experience of Amnesia to be worse (in a good way) then Dead Space.

Right, like anyone in real life can actually live through this.

Anyway, it was a crazy night and I didn't sleep until I reached home at 8 plus. To which I had a few hours of uninterrupted sleep and then being woken up for more Sunday house visiting.

At evening I went to a friend's house where they were having this gigantic gathering that had like at least 40 people. Not kidding. Her house is those 3 story private property together with basement which her dad converted to a wine cellar. Seriously, its like one whole glass room in the basement filled with shelves of wine with an air conditioner keeping them at optimal temperature.

There's even a board room table there just for wine enthusiasts.

So after meeting her secondary school friends and exchanging some stories, we watched the Lion Dance troupe from NTU perform their act. They were hired by the dad I think, I'm not sure. Because I expected them to be at least decent or passable. Whereas their entire 'performance' was sucky to the extent that it was laughable. Seriously. I'm no expert but when they could not get the jump after 3 tries and required other team members to get a stool, obviously they're a phail. At one point I even remember their shoe coming out. I mean wtf? My school Wushu Lion Dance troupe could do better.

This is why NUS is always better.

Perhaps I should not say so much. For all I know I may just end up being in NTU. Even so, I will never join their troupe.

I had no interest, in the first place.

So then my friend the host suggested that we head to her room for drinking games, where another friend and I got excited. Because we thought that meant drinking as in alcohol. The friend even took out 2 bags of assorted drinks where they said was for mixing. I was going 'hell yeah'. All the way until I found out the 'mixing' was between the drinks itself, and there was no alcohol to be involved.

WTF.

It was meant to be a disgusting cocktail they say, so that one would not want to drink it. That's just stupid. All they had was allswell drinks and some assorted sodas. How gross could that get??

None of the drinks they mixed up tasted revolting. Some were even pleasant to the tongue.

Sigh.

Needless to say, my friend and I were disappointed. What a waste.

Okay I'm getting kinda sleepy and I don't wanna continue this tomorrow so Imma rush this.

I guess the drinking incident can be compensated by the dinner that was presented to us. Being the sort of host that my friend's dad is, he arranged for tables to be placed at their porch and everyone had steamboat for dinner. Which was fuckin' awesome.

Mind you, the porch was even able to squeeze about 11 tables or so. Yes, it's that big.

She even had her own pool at the backyard.

When I entered her house for the first time last last year, I thought I was in an episode of MTV Cribs.

Bad jokes aside, we, being her friends ate last as her father's clients and employees ate first. Which was no problem, as the unfinished food was all given to us. Uncooked, of course.

In a nutshell, it was one hell of a dinner.

Now my previous Chinese New Years were always just visiting relatives house and nothing much. Also, without the thought of going to school on Monday helps. Which is why I regard this year's Chinese New Year as one of the best yet.

It's a great feeling to just get together with old pals and celebrate heartily, without any qualms.

I know for a fact, that such a chance may not exist again, as in a few months I would be entering NS.

From then on, it would be CNY in midst of National Service, followed by CNY in midst of Uni (hopefully), then CNY between work.

None of that no worries bullshit.

Okay. 4:33 am. I think Wei long is gonna be pissed at me for being late tomorrow.

Heheh.

Like Old Times.

2011-01-31T02:32:00.004+08:00

So over the past 2 weeks I've had some pretty fun highlights.

Well firstly, I finally managed to watch Burlesque the other day and I have to say it is an amazing film. The cinematography is good, the plot is good, Christina Aguilera is being awesome yet again with her boombox voice and damn is Cam Gigandet fit or what? Anyways, I recommend the film but, only to people who appreciate this kind of films or likes to listen to Aguilera. Since, according to my sister's friend, the show had too much singing. But honestly, I feel it has just the right balance of story and vocals. It is after all, a film focusing on Aguilera and Cher. :/

Anyways, after watching Burlesque the 6 of the gang decided to spend some time playing LAN. Since none of us really like Dota (except maybe Hafiz), we settled on 3v3 Left 4 Dead. An hour later and I find myself very pleased with my performance. After months of not playing the game, well, let's just say I've got 4 words for ya.

I still got it.

Hell yeah.

Led the team to victory one after another. While the ai in our team always didn't manage to make it to the safe house, we always got to at least 90% progress before losing him in the final leg. I don't wanna boast but, compared to the other team's progress of about 20% before being obliterated, I say we're pretty good.

Okay who am I kidding, I totally intended to boast.

Come on.......it's my first Left 4 Dead 2 game after such a long absence. Gimme a break.

A man has his ego, what can I say?

Oh yes, I also watched Black Swan the other day. Now I know it's not released in Singapore yet (or is it?) but I torrented it and since it's good quality, I thought I'd take a break from Dexter marathons and watch an artsy film.

How wrong could I be.

The blurb that I read regarding the film does little to prepare you the what the movie has to offer. Other than excelling as a beautiful film - I'm not really into ballet but damn the choreography is tight, it is also a spine-gripping thriller and has its fair share of suspense to keep you hooked and creeped out.

What this film does is actually rather rare. It managed to capture the attention of its audience and delivers a well place fear that comes not from cheap scares, but hauntingly good scenes that fucks with your mind.

I shouldn't say too much lest I unintentionally reveal any spoiler but I seriously recommend it to you people out there. Watch this film, it has a decent cast, good choreography, intriguing plot, superb acting and screenplay. Sure, it may not be a perfect film, but it certainly has all the aspects a good film should possess.

Go watch it, trust me.

On a lighter note, went out to catch The Green Hornet with long time homies Yuchi and Wenqiang today. Relax, not gonna do another review here, think we've had enough for today.

I want to however, say that Seth Rogen is awesome as always and despite Jay's weakness at English, he did managed to pull off his role convincingly.

Alright, that's all I'm gonna say about the movie.

But yea, it's awesome. The film.

Headed over to Yuchi's new house after that. Well it's not new per se but I had not visited his house ever since he moved all the way from Tampines over to the condominium at East Coast. And boy was I not surprised that his parents chose to move because the view is guuuddd. And so are the facilities! I mean, besides the usual gym and pool, it has a mini convenience store, a movie rental shop, a cafe, and even its own massage parlor. I mean wtf man, since when do they build condos like these.

Anyways, didn't do much in his house as the original plan was to go East Coast park and cycle or rollerblade but due to the rain it was impossible. Besides, I had to leave earlier for my mom's birthday dinner and spring cleaning of the house.

We did however, erm, showed each other our current crushes on facebook. Kinda like a girly thing cept with guys. Hmm?

Yuchi was also playing this weird rpg game called Fly For Fantasy or some shit like that where we watched him gank lower levels for fun. His bro even owned the title for having the character with the most HP on the server. Which, according to its inhabitants, a HP of over 300k is impossible, yet his brother's character has a whopping 380k. Sweet mother of god.

We then switched things up a notch and watched Wen Qiang play Dota. Lost the match but to be fair his team had 2 leavers. I don't think anyone here would like to read about some random Dota match so I suppose I'll leave it out.

Oh and did I mention Yuchi's dog is freaking adorable? He mentioned the breed to me twice but somehow I kept forgetting it but anyways she's called Hebe and she's a really really cute dog. And I found out Wen Qiang is a little scared of dogs.

Lmao.

12 years. 12 years I've known that man and I never knew that he was scared of dogs.

Guess we gotta spend more time together.

Which is why the 3 of us is meeting up again 2 weeks from now!

Hopefully it'll happen, and this time, the sky is not raining like a motherfucker.

*Fingers Crossed*

Aight, it's getting late. I have to work tomorrow and I still need to finish up my episode of Dexter.

See y'all in February,

Later.

Food for thought.

2011-01-20T23:42:00.001+08:00

I just saw one of my junior's post on facebook about her craving for the school prata which made me remember something.

Picture this, you're having break now, and you decide to go for lunch. Now, looking at the selection of food stores in your canteen, you feel kinda spoilt for choices.

Usually it's between the Chinese rice or Yong Tau Foo for me. But sometimes....uhm, I don't know if this has happened to you before, but there's always this particular food that I've always been longing to try. It could be anything, from that crispy fried noodle, to the malay rice that is expensive but looks oh so appetizing. Or even some weird ass concoction of western food that your brain somehow managed to convince you that it's delicious.

And it doesn't have to be the same food everytime! It may even depend on your mood. For e.g. After a good workout in morning PE, I feel like my stomach might not be able to take so much fried and gravy food. So instead of that fried chicken sitting seductively under the amber spotlight in Chinese Rice store, I opt to go for yong tau foo. Of course, not the laksa gravy one, the normal noodles with clear soup that goes well with an unstable stomach. (I think) Also, under such circumstances, I prefer Kway Teow to yellow noodles due to the white, almost-translucent color of the Kway Teow gives me the same clean feeling compared to yellow-yellow-dirty-fellow noodles.

Yes, I'm quite particular when it comes to such stuff.

Anyways, I seem to have drifted off topic with my Yong Tau Foo story so now, back to topic.

So yeah, the food that we always wanted to try. When presented with this dilemma, what do we do?

It happened to me more than once, so I distinctively remember telling myself, "You know, it's only the XX month of school. You still have don't know how many more months to go, you can always try that another time. Besides, look at that queue!"

And then you look over at the queue, and it's like half the length of the queue at Chinese Rice store.

"Nah...it only looks short. Believe me, the food takes much longer to be served there."

"No shit. Really?"

"Really."

So there you have it. After being convinced by your brain that today's not the day to try your much desired food, you decide to go for plain ol' Chinese Rice.

And the next time this happens again, the exact same conversation takes place in your mind. Once again, you decide to play it safe and buy your trusted daily staple.

Then it occurs again, and again, and again..........alllll the way until the day you finally graduated, never to come back again except for results day.

And then you think to yourself, "Hmm, all this while and I've never tried the pan fried Dory fish with Mash Potato and wedges on a Prata topped with cheese and curry gravy. With a packet of popcorn chicken by your side and finally finishing it off with Fruit Salad and Milk."

'What happened to it?', you asked yourself.

You think back, eyes pointed diagonally upwards as you tried to recall.

Eventually, you shrugged your shoulders and muttered 'Fuck it.'

And you proceeded to join your friends for celebrations.

Bubble boy.

2011-01-17T19:19:00.000+08:00

It dreads me because I really like the movie 'Bubble Boy' and now I have to defile the title with this post and I didn't even plan to write it because as of right now due to certain events I am fucking pissed and probably in a fit of anger. Yet, it completely and accurately describes you and thus I have no choice but to use it.

Believe, I didn't want to.

You know there's always a time when your perception of someone gets 'enlightened' and it's like their mirror of disguise gets shattered as you realize something about them.

It happened so fast.

One day I was fine and all. Then I heard some news. Some alarming news that made me recall your actions and now, they made sense.

I've seen the kind of man that you are. The image you try so hard to build with all your pretentious actions and the lies you spew out of that mouth, your hypocritical tales so blatant and loud they almost seem to scream out at me to punch you in your face and slap your audience across the cheek to wake them up from their delusion of you.

The way you behave, the things you do, the words you say, they sicken me every time I think about it. And it sucks that no one can look past the mask and see the ironically child-like thinking that you possess.

Sometimes, it's bearable when you are not threatened by anyone. However, a bit of embarrassment and you hastily struggle to find nonsensical words to bring down that little thing poking at your ego so that you can look better. While it's funny that such a trivial matter can injure your ego, it's hilarious to me. Because underneath all that gigantic balloon of ego, is a modicum of pitiful self-esteem.

They may not see it now, or maybe ever, but I swear to whoever's up there and I promise, that one day, someone will come along and that certain hero will burst your fucking bubble and then, ...then. You will realize that your whole entire life was a lie. A lie so poorly carved that the moment you lose a tiny sense of it, everything will come crashing down into emptiness.

When that happens, I'm gonna smile. Oh yeah, you bet I will.

And you know why?

Because there is nothing, nothing at all. That you can fucking do about it.

Discard.

2011-01-16T15:47:00.000+08:00

In a sudden surge of laziness, I have decided to scrap all my drafts of my post As activities including the epic Christmas Eve party, Christmas party, New Year's Eve party, and many more.

There's simply too much to write and I couldn't bear to release a short lackluster summary of those events.

I may however, post my 80% done recap of some movies and games that I entertained myself with over December. I watched a lot of Korean movies too, but none of them really impacted me enough for me to mention in my recap. Maybe one does, but it's a tearjerker and no one wants to read about how a guy sheds tears to a movie.

Right now I'm just rushing though this post so I could continue with my other shows and when I'm done, maybe I'll blog, who knows.

Perhaps I can talk about today's event - Rollerblading at ECP. Sure it does not sound remotely interesting as some party with booze and chicks but hey, I'll try my best.

If there's time, I could throw in some excerpts from the post As activities just for kicks.

Okay I have no idea what I'm talking about. I just want to continue watching my ~~porn~~ shows so I'm gonna end this off just like that.

Be back soon.

Secret Foundation

2011-01-03T17:57:00.000+08:00

Let me start by being clear.

Yes, I did have a hiatus on my hand for awhile and now I'm intending to end it, albeit I do not have much time left - have to go meet my friends in about an hour or so and I kinda want to finish it by then.

In short, I want to say that my absence was not due to my lack of stuff to talk about or any tight schedule that a post A level student would somehow possess. In fact, I had plenty of time (a good whole month in fact) so I guess the main reason will be that I was lazy.

Anyhow, let's back all the way up from where I left off with my last post in 2010, when A levels was around the corner. Since it'll be a recap of a 1 whole month's activities, it's gonna be fucking long. To be a little reader friendly, I shall split it up in parts, with the first being about A levels, followed by Post As and finally big events like Christmas and New Year and finally Bryan's 19th birthday which I just attended.

Now, let's get started...

The big A's:

This may actually come as a bit of a surprise. Just before my first paper - Chemistry p3, I was a nervous wreck. I did my best to hide it from people I know as I hate people worrying about me. On the outside, I was comforting my friends, telling them how prelim papers where fucked up and A levels would be a nothing short of a breeze. Yet on the inside, I know I was ill-prepared. Hell was on me and despite that, I still was unable to put in my best in the preparation. I was kinda in the 'what's more to be done' type of attitude, and the fact that first paper was a major one did not help at all.

After the first day, my fears were confirmed. I could do the paper, but I was almost completely unsure of half my answers. The entire booklet of prelim papers that I painstakingly done were useless. Past A level papers did little to assist me in the weird exam questions that involved stuff like step by step separation of a suspension of different chemicals. It was horrible.

Perhaps the only silver lining was ironically the difficulty itself, for it signified the possibility of a strong moderation. Let's just pray our friends over at the asylums like Hwa Chong and Victoria or whatever don't disrupt the bell curve by a large extent.

So there it began, and from then on it was a crazy fast ride. I actually felt pretty good for Econs, which doesn't say anything coz on multiple occasions where I had a modicum of confidence for my Econs, I still failed terribly.

Contrary to popular belief, the A level exam period wasn't so much so of a torturous wait towards the end. At least for me it was not. I was more of being troubled with papers after papers that A levels didn't seems long at all. It came soon, but it left even faster.

Besides a few anomalies, I thought it was pretty okay after I was done with it.

However, as time passed, I thought more and more about it and my fears slowly grew inside me. Creeping into my confidence and finally obliterating it. I think I can say that right now I absolutely dread results day.

But that would be in about 3 months, so let's move on for now...

The Black Pearl

2010-11-05T10:51:00.000+08:00

As of recently, I have started to develop a little crush for a celebrity.

Specifically, a Kpop artiste.

Specifically SNSD.

Specifically......Kwon Yuri. ♥

Oh my god.

Ernest Quah? Crush on SNSD member?

Who would've seen this coming.

Holy shit.

Okay I just wanna say there are other beautiful girls in SNSD. Particularly my 2nd favourite (currently), SeoHyun, who's really really cute, soft-spoken and demure and probably the one with the best natural look. And yes, I used 'currently' because she's rising among the ranks very quickly. Who knows, perhaps one days she might overtake Yuri.

However, I think why Yuri caught my eye the most was because she's really beautiful and has an amazing lively character. And her antics, wow. Can't believe I spent hours watching videos of them on youtube.

This is really not healthy for my impending A levels.

Sigh.

Oh and don't worry guys, Hayley is still the one who governs my heart. :D

______________________________________________________________________

*EDIT*

Okay, after watching a few more hours of videos, SeoHyun has officially been promoted. Especially after the episode of H.M.F where she manages to break out of her usual composure and expresses her emotions. It was simply amazing. Kudos to her.

Oh and here's a picture of her,

She's gorgeous too isn't she.

And finally, just for kicks, a picture of both Yuri and SeoHyun together...

Plethora Of Cuteness

Now. I should really get started on that Math that I seem to suck so much at...

Cya guys,

Later.

Morning Glow In Roberturg City

2010-11-02T01:01:00.000+08:00

I'm typing this post at 8:04 in the morning and I'm tired.

I just spent the entire night fiddling with Rosetta Stone German language and then doing some chemistry paper 3 and finally checking the answers, only to find, to my dismay, a multitude of errors.

But I'm improving, albeit at a slow pace, which is not what we want now since it's like 8 days to A levels (shocker) and I still have 2 other H2s to worry about.

Anyways, I downloaded Rosetta Stone German, which is a program for the user to learn German, or rather Deutsch. But it's not for me, I may find their language rather pleasant but I don't think I'll be learning it anytime soon. It's for my sis, who already has a certain degree of fluency in the language as she has taken lessons before. I think it was Tokio Hotel who first got her interested in German. Was it? I'm not sure.

So while my sis will be brushing up on her Deutsch, I'll be picking up Spanish. Yeap. I don't know why but I always liked the way it sounded, especially when spoken fluently. Yes...I know, many you will be going like "What!!.........Isn't French like the most sophisticated language in the world!?!"

Okay, French does sound a little cool but I admit it looks friggin' hard to learn. I mean, similar to Deutsch, the alphabets when arranged together don't pronounce the same way as they should. Oh and another thing, French is over-rated. Kinda hate it when some people think speaking a few words here and they would bring new light to their social status. Whatever.

In fact, a rather close friend of mine is learning the language at the moment, but I've known him for years. And I think it suits him. So yeah.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

On another note, I have recently been hooked onto this relatively new Korean Drama. Bad timing, I know. To those of you who are reeling in disgust at the fact that I watch Korean dramas....well, suck it up. You can't deny that they do these shows better than their Hong Kong counterparts. Okay, maybe not for cop shows. Honkies rock at making cop shows. Hell, Armed Reaction was quite simply the best cop series I've watched. Unriddle was like, uhm, for lack of a better phrase, pale in comparison.

And don't even mention CSI. Oh god, that show was horrible with their corny punchlines and bad puns.

Above: America's smartest prime-time show

So yeah, guess we could agree that America should stick with comedies, Chinese with Action and Koreans with their dramas.

Back to topic, the show I am hooked on is called 'Loving you a thousand times'. Sounds a lil' gay, but it's okay... the show is pretty darn good anyways. The plot's good, the acting is believable and the screenplay is fine. But damn, they sure know how to pick the cast for the shows to get higher ratings.

The protagonist of the show is some girl named Go Eun Min (in the show). Here's a picture of her.

Look at that. And I'll dare you to tell me that you don't wanna wake up every morning, staring into her eyes. At the perfectly chiseled facial features. Seriously the first time I saw her in the show I was kinda mesmerized by her beauty and to add, her character was supposed to be this demure and graceful person. Dayuuummm.

What's more, she's a natural. Yeap. No plastic whatsoever. Kinda tough in Korea's society nowadays huh.

So yeah I guess she's play a big factor in why I like to watch the show so much but hey, I'm not all for the eye candy only eh.. It's like, somehow you feel a little queasy, yet warm and spirited when you see the on-screen romance taking place. Don't mind me if I sound a little faggo here but it's really sweet, how much they love each other, albeit sometimes it gets a wee bit exaggerated. Oh well...

I guess I should end off this random post now.

Took me 2 hours zomg. Actually its around 45 minutes coz I went down to the market to have breakfast with my mom and did some shopping while we're there too.

Aight. It's now 10am, I could feel last night's fatigue kicking in and I should prolly go take a short nap or something.

I'll prolly see you guys like after As.

Which is like 22 days later.

Oh and uhh...Good Luck to everyone who is taking A levels.

Cheers!

And we'll go out in style.

Last Minute Thoughts

2010-10-22T15:14:00.000+08:00

So here we are. Tomorrow's the last day of the school.

Graduation day.

My 18 years of education is ending in a few hours. Excited? Perhaps. It's times like this when you look back at what you have accomplished in from your childhood to adolescence. Of course, this isn't all going to end silently. No one's going disappear into the night without fireworks.

I intend to go out with a bang.

Okay maybe not so much of a bang, but a couple of friends and I have gathered and put together a little something to show our appreciation and gratitude towards our mates and teacher. I admit, I didn't intend to do this initially. After all, people who know me well enough understand that under normal circumstances, I would very much prefer to keep a low profile.

But as I said, that applies for normal circumstances. It's the final day in JC life. The last one, that I'm ever gonna get. Hence I agreed to my friends suggestion. I know A levels are around the corner - 19 days, in fact. All my motivational posts have lied once and once again. I'mma be honest here. I fear for the day of reckoning. Yet, call me dumb but I'm the kinda guy who puts friends before me. In this case, giving my mates something to remember about.

It's nothing much, I'd say. A couple of songs and some 'shout-out'. That's all. It would help if you cut us some slack, for we only had about 5 hours to practice.

A while back in post O levels, (sorry I kept drifting off) I joined this competition where people with no musical proficiency in instruments may participate as a band with few other friends. They will be instructors and over the course of 3 months we will be taught basic skills and at the end, a final competition where bands will perform two songs each.

The outcome was not what was important, although yes, we did won. :D Anyways, I remember those Sundays mornings where we take the long commute all the way to Tiong Bahru and jammed together as a band with all my sec 4 homies. It was an amazing period in my life. The experience of slowly experimenting different improvisations and working together as a team to come up with a great sound, while having fun and chilling out at the same time, getting to know one and another. It just does not happen in your everyday life.

My point is, I haven't felt that way for a long time. Yet for the past 2 days, as my mates sat around my living room trying out different approaches to the song in terms of strumming pattern, pitching and harmonizing, I felt that feeling returning. Like I said, it was amazing.

A friend told me something a few days ago, that only till recently she has begun to appreciate her friends. I shrugged it off, simply replying with stuff like 'lol' and 'I see'. Now I realized it applied to me too. I have been taking my friends for granted all this while. Seeing them in school almost everyday lead me to think that they were like news programmes that appear on the tv channel everyday regardless.

Yet, as I try to cherish the friendship now, I must admit there are strains occuring between some, albeit not with me. Not directly, at least. I could have pleaded for them to set aside the differences and go back to the days when they were great pals. However it seemed impossible when no one is willing to take the first move. Usually I'd just remain neutral and mind my own business, but as of lately, recent events have triggered me to take a step.

I hate taking sides. As much as I hate beansprouts. And that's saying something. However, one of the worst things in this world is hypocrisy. That vile act is so hideous yet inevitable that I don't admit that I have committed it sometime in my life before. And when one does it repeatedly, how then, do you expect me to remain unbiased?

But I won't lose hope just yet. Nearly two years of friendship has grown and I definitely will not allow it to end this way. Soon, I hope you will learn to suppress the hate, release the grudge and shrink that ego.

:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:

Sigh, I guess I shall stop with this crap that I'm churning out and end this post soon.

Think I better go soon. Have to practice the songs and do some work before I go to bed. With any luck, I may be able to turn in early tonight. Compared to 4 am the previous two nights. I have to seriously stop taking naps from evening till night.

Oh well.

Hope tomorrow will be a good one. Fingers crossed and breath resigned.

-Let's be freaks-

“We move through shrubbery and we mark our foreheads with the sign of the Hunt.
Here we sing the ancient songs and they do not stick in our mortal throats like knots.”

WoW (no pun intended)

2010-10-04T17:10:00.000+08:00

If I may,

I want her to be my girlfriend.

I'll even go study every day intently. We can play WoW after A levels.

I will be a happy man.

Catatonic Frenzy

2010-09-28T11:48:00.000+08:00

Being waken up to a sms informing me that I was posted to 'Interactive Media Design' in Temasek Polytechnic was not my average morning. In fact, I was pretty horrified. Not at all did I expect this to happen.

I knew it was foolish of me to place MJC as my first choice given my crappy raw score but I figured I could at least got into TPJC. Which was my 2nd choice.

Interactive Media Design?

It was my 7th choice.

I didn't even put it there seriously. Somehow somewhere in my mind I honestly thought I could get in either of the first few choices and not some 7th choice which I kinda picked randomly only coz it sounded fun.

Needless to say, I appealed through academics into this school. New environment, new friends.

A new beginning, I told myelf.

I promised myself that I wasn't going to make the same mistakes for my O levels. Which was to start too late. I had high hopes for myself. Scholarship? If I'm lucky, maybe. I was dreaming of entering Cambridge. Oxford. MIT. Possibilities were endless. Sure, monetary issues were a problem but I thought scholarships could cover it.

I would make it work. One way or another.

Look at me. A year and a half on. Struggling to keep up. Disappointing grades. I was killing all my dreams one wrong chemistry answer at a time. Things aren't looking good at all. What used to be once an aim was now a dream. Snap back to reality. I could pray for the guy up there to help me. To get into a university. Any university. NUS, NTU, I don't care.

Desperation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Going back a few years. I can still remember clearly the day I received my Secondary 2 end of year results. I got an B for Art and an A for Design and Technology. My then DnT teacher told me to pick up the subject for Secondary 3 streaming.

'You have potential.' she said.

I gave much thought to it. A part of me wants to take Pure Biology. A part of me yearns to follow my teacher's advice, to give it a try. To step out of my sister's shadow of entering Triple Science stream.

I went home that day, and told my mom the news.

'No.'

A curt reply.

I asked why. I knew it was useless questioning her orders, but I had to try. You know how we always read in GP or Economics that the older generation can be stubborn and refuse to change their mindset, always laying around in the stereotypical ideology that the science stream will miraculously lead to great things. Arts on the other hand is for people who just 'didn't had it in them'.

Yeah, that was them. Their number one sole reason why I was not allowed to take up DnT. We argued for hours. I tried all kinds of methods. Tantrums, threats, anger, and even diplomatic solutions. At some point, I wasn't fighting for my right to choose my subject combination anymore. I got sick of it. I was merely fighting just for the sake of it. Because I hated the way things went about in the house. I wanted to defy. To antagonize.

'Can I just give it a try?'

I never had the chance.

4 years on, sometimes I sit down and wonder. Wonder about what my life would be if I ever had the chance to choose my own path in life. Would I be feeling this miserable right now?

I thought about the perks of having a Poly education. Then I juxtaposed it to my current situation. I have to admit, I felt a deep sense of regret.

But then I remembered about things that made me happy during these past 2 years.

And that was when I knew.

That it was worth it.

But what of the wretched hollow?

Fresh Feeling

2010-09-25T17:18:00.001+08:00

Just a short one, before I turn in for the night.

I've recently been hooked on a song called Kettering by The Antlers. It all happened was I was just sitting at my computer watching an episode of Chuck when during a particular (important) scene the song was being used in the background. At that point, the on screen action was so impactful and although I didn't exactly know the lyrics to the song yet, I felt the tone and atmosphere of the song was perfect. It helped accentuate the poignant feel of the scene in every single way.

Of course, after some google-ing I found the song and downloaded it. Not long after, it became a proud member of my playlist. In fact, it is the tune you're listening to right now, considering you don't immediately press pause at my (iPod touch) upon entering this blog. Have patience, I implore you. For it will be rewarded.

The song starts off soft and hummed and slowly builds up as it tells the story through the wonderfully crafted lyrics. Then, suddenly, the revelation appears and the tune transcends into an convoluted yet harmonious ending fueled by such emotions so much so that as you think back to what has been narrated to you throughout the song, the experience may have you relating to it, one way or another. Hearts may yearn, tears may fall. At any rate, a tinge of sadness will manifest and rest silently at the bottom of the heart.

╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩

As the last leg of the race looms over, I felt my knees weakening, giving way to sheer pressure. Pressure I haven't felt in a long while. As I slowed down to take a breather before embarking on the final sprint that will hopefully send me ascending through the positions of those who had surpassed me in the past, I noticed the increasing number of contestants overtaking me.

I looked back.

Few remain. Those who still at my tail were either too lazy to give a damn, or simply were not cut out for this. I directed my vision back to the people in front. No, this is insane. Foolish and futile. Every factor strives to slow me down. The sun is hot and heavy, yet my heart remains silver and cold.

I took a glance at my timing so far.

It was below par. Had I come this far only to fall? I knew about the winners' circle up a few hundred yards ahead. Knowing there are those who are waiting there to give me their support does little to incite me.

My head is aching, my calves burning. Lungs asphyxiated and struggling to prevent a collapse. No, I said to myself again. This time with a different resolution.

No.

Inexplicably, my mind made its decision.

My heart burned with red hot passion and desire.

Teeth gritted, fists clenched.

And I took off.

Can we go far away to the humming meadow?

Tapestry of elegance.

2010-09-06T09:22:00.000+08:00

In lieu of the upcoming prelims, or at least the bulk of it after the one week break, I decided to strap myself up and get ready for some serious preparation. Chilling of course, before I get started on any studies.

So over two days I kinda watched a few movies. Yeah I know movie junkie yeah whatever. Anyways, here the list so far;

Star Trek (2009)

The Crazies

The Expendables
Thirst

Step Up 3D

Yeah thats about it. I know its not a lot but hey, they're all pretty new movies. I wanted to watch Legend of Ip man but the pirated disc my uncle bought had shit quality. I was rather lazy to torrent it anyway so yeah heck.

Thirst especially, had a great story that was well, sadly adapted from an old novel called Therese Raquin. (Thanks wiki) Yeah I said sadly coz I thought the story was pretty good for a korean flick until I read wikipedia but hey its still an awesome film. Would recommend checking it out although...there are some NSFW scenes. So yeah you might wanna watch it alone. For it'll be pretty weird.

Basically its about this guy who becomes a vampire.... wait, what? You don't wanna watch it already? Why?

Oh I get it.

Nah this guy doesn't sparkle. Not at all. Maybe it's coz he's an asian. Idk. Anyways although the film, like Twilight, focuses on romance between a vampire and a human, has a different direction and the elements of the story are better expressed and the plot itself is more realistic I believe. I'm not saying that Twilight isn't realistic, but the love between them is so unconditional it really requires you to really believe in true love to be able to swallow the story down with a pinch of salt. But hey, who are we kidding talking about realism in a couple of vampire films.

Nevertheless, Twilight had a good story, the films however didn't do the books justice and it seems like the CGI is still mediocre for a movie that earned super big bucks. Mind you, I read all of the books (yes I did) so I'd like to think I know exactly what I'm talking about.

Another similarity between the films is the differing views between the male and female main characters on being vampires. The guy, being a priest, sees it as eternal damnation (duh) while the female kinda perceives it to be her ultimate liberation. That said, the way the story ends is completely different.

So yeah I shan't reveal too much and uhh, do check it out if you have the time.

Like I told a friend yesterday, Star Trek isn't half bad too. I may be biased though, given the director being J.J Abrams, the genius behind well, pseudo science flicks like Lost, Fringe, Cloverfield, and upcoming Super 8 which I am totally stoked for.

I am actually lazy to review Star Trek so I shall just say that even non Trekkies like most of Singaporean teenagers now can watch it without feeling lost. Yeap.

On another note, I have been really listening to Late Night Alumni lately. I was kinda looking for lounge music on youtube but found them instead and although they're not exactly lounge music, the tunes are relatively relaxing compared to my other songs and I immediately downloaded like idk 10+ songs or something to try them out.

Another artist I'd like to mention is Inch Chua. Granted she is Singaporean but her music is definitely not limited to local flavour. She, is just, amazing. And trust me besides her soprano vocals, the tunes each and every song packs is really refreshing and the melody from the guitars meld wonderfully with her voice and the rest of the sounds which range from, for e.g, say a violin from Wallflower to the drums in Rule The World.

Generally her album Wallflower expresses the emotions and nuances rather well and will definitely give you hope about the Singapore music industry. Other than her album she does have two other EPs and all of them including the album can be downloaded from her website, for free. That's right. Another reason to become her fan.

I must say, I really didn't expect myself to like a Singaporean artiste so much. Oh well, there's always a first.

So, a week of break ahead and I would really like to pull my grades up. Looks like I got a lot of work to do.

Oh and I really really want to catch 'Haunted Changi'. I know it looks totally cliched and the whole videocam style has been kinda overused but hey, it's still very much interesting to me. I mean c'mon we should be supporting our local films more. Especially a horror film. 'The maid' was just kinda fail. As for 'Haunted changi', I have a feeling that despite it being a local archetype of foreign horror films, it's gonna impress me. Anyone up for it?

Till next time,

Cya later.

You have me like a drawing,
erased, coloured in, untitled, signed by your tongue.

Animosity

2010-08-31T11:39:00.000+08:00

A friend once said to me, "I wish I were a male. You guys seem to have no problems with one another at all!"

If only she knew.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Being a Libran, I always praised my supposed innate abilities for handling social situations well.

I'm usually the neutral guy in between, the one who listens to both sides of an argument and makes a decision in my heart, which however often does not surface to express itself. Some may call it being two-faced, I call it being compromising to both parties. Yet, there are times where I can't help but find myself agreeing with someone. As we talk about our views, I slowly realize that I have the exact, if not similar issues with a certain subject with whoever I was talking to. Of course, the subject can refer to anything, even a person.

Let's not get there, however.

I'd like to mention something about my temper. I always thought I had good control over my temper - having a high threshold for criticism of many forms. I also kinda pride myself for my high tolerance, especially towards certain issues which I shall address briefly later on.

However, I have been, on several occasions to be extremely angered, even to an extreme (almost senseless) extent which I have no idea why. It was like, sometimes you just experience the 'trigger' and y'know when something inside you snaps. One of my severe pet peeves is that I hate being labelled. I can take criticism with a pinch of salt any day, including those about my aesthetics or even my supposed cowardice whom one of my friends feel I become when it comes to issues regarding error. Note the word 'supposed'. Time and time again I have told someone to respect my privacy and stop poking his/her nose into the matter because well, like econs, he/she have imperfect information and thus making baseless assumptions would only serve to annoy me. But that's another matter, isn't it?

So, labelling. I'm not sure if this is even a proper social term but oh well whatever. I'm pretty sure it's called social labelling btw. Anyways, god knows for what reason but I tend to get frustrated when someone labels me in relative to something or someone else. For example, say person X and person Y likes to eat food 1, and it just so happened to their group of friends notice person X buying the food. In their minds, there is this immediate connection that links person X to food 1. Now, when person Y buys food 1 and the group of friends notice it, they go 'oh you like food 1 too? Copy X lol.'

Yeah. That pisses me off like fuck.

Perhaps that's the way I am. I like to build a sense of individualism and I strive to be special, or in that sense, not to be juxtaposed to someone just because we have similar taste in certain stuff. Of course, I understand that it is only natural for people to label others with respect to what they know so as to better classify and organize their thoughts and memories about others but like I said, it's my pet peeve.

Oh well.

Anyways, I guess I should really be concentrating on my prelims rather than this shit right now. In fact I was banned from computer. Of course, this led to much fury in me when it happened but I've since come to terms with it. After all, it was beneficial to me in a way. I mean look at what's happening now, my sis asked me to help her check some mail and I had no choice but to turn on the computer. 5 min of checking turned to 3 hours of computer usage which spawned no less than a couple song downloads and of course, this blog post.

Well, I better get going.

Cya in a few,

Later.

Do you feel the fire burning like it was?

Cold, Conned & Conquered.

2010-08-21T17:08:00.000+08:00

I never really saw myself as much of a gamer before. So I played more than my fair share of games, what's the big deal? And although I don't generally have any game which I find myself unable to restraint from playing currently, I do still treat myself to an hour or two of playing every now and then.

I remember the first game I ever played on a PC. That is, on account that pre-included game (Hearts, Minesweeper) are not counted. Anyways, that game was Sonic. You know, the lil' blue hedgehog. C'mon, everyone knows him. So yeah It was just a simple side scroller and included keys like movement and a jump. That was all. Yet in those days, I considered myself to be living the life whenever I convinced my mom to allow me to switch on the computer. Collecting golden rings while speeding around slopes and loops wearing red sneakers was the perfect getaway from my kindergarten life.

It wasn't long before we got a relatively newer computer by standards of those days. My cousin also bought me a new game called Shogo. It has graphics somewhat similar to Unreal and Serious Sam The First Encounter, which was really something worth mentioning. The gameplay however, was more like quake. A shoot 'em up style of fps. It also had an anime feel to it and was my first recorded memory of Japanese names other than Godzilla or Digimon. Of course, it needed skills to play too. At that time, blasting all those giant robots away with my pulse rifle was the most adrenaline-filled activity I've ever done then. That, and of course watching COPS on tv. The game even had one of my favourite and definitely nostalgia inducing intros.

But enough about that, I still can remember the feelings I felt whenever I got killed by an enemy mech either on PC or by Sweet-tooth on my PS1. I was angry. I felt frustrated with myself many times. When you were young, you did not realize that perhaps the game was too complicated for you to understand. After all, I was merely in lower primary then. I never really knew how to make strategies and plan my progress so that I would have enough life, potions or medicine to make it past the boss. It was more of a 'we'll see what happens' kinda situation. After all, I never had a gameboy to play with. As such, never have I completed any Pokemon game whatsoever. Being rather reclusive in those days, I seldom approached my friends to ask if they played the same game as I do.

Anyways, back to topic. Given my limited knowledge then, I was always daunted by epic boss fights. My reflexes just weren't up to standard to react to the T-Rex in Dino Crisis. My thinking was rather simplistic and lead me to charge into battle in Front Mission. As a result, I died more than I feel I deserve. Basically I was irritated at my incompetence. Why? I asked myself often. Years later, I grew up and understood more concepts. It was then I realized how foolish I was.

Sometime during lower secondary, I was clearing my room due to incessant complains from my mom. While dumping the papers around, I noticed a rather huge plastic bag sitting in a corner hidden by shoeboxes and books. Slowly, I walked cautiously towards it. I sat down beside the bag and unfolded it, my hands feeling the almost-sticky yellow plastic while my nose picked up the slight tinge of mustiness. Then, I took a peek inside and sitting there hopefully was my long forgotten Playstation. I had just rediscovered my childhood treasure. I felt like Indiana Jones.

Dusting it off, I found the cables and plugged it into the small tv in my room and switched on the power. I prayed.

First, the nostalgic low electronic hum reverberated through the room and somewhere in my heart, something was ignited as distinctive white and orange colors fill up the screen. A few seconds later it transitioned to the familiar red, blue and yellow PS icon, itself outstanding in the black background. As traces of the hum resonated amidst the clean sparkling tunes, all the memories I chucked away in a corner of my mind began flowing back in a plethora of emotions. For a few seconds, I felt peace and happiness. My prayers were answered.

As I heard the classic Cardigans song coming to life, I realized the very last game I played was Gran Turismo 2. I had even left the CD inside all this while. After being in awe at how epic the shit was despite years of absence, I slowly maneuvered my way through the menu, selecting my all time favourite Nissan Skyline. I was ready. After all, I had played much more racing games since then.

Approaching the first corner, my years of experience told me to release the accelerator, slam the brakes, downshift, steer left followed by counter-steering when the car tips into a turn and finally putting the pedal to the metal. The flow of thoughts was flawless. I knew how to tackle it. Yet, a part of me, somewhere deep down, wanted to follow the memory that was dying to get out, to be relived. The dilemma was difficult, yet clear.

I pressed the accelerator button and only when I was at the head of the turn then I pressed left. Watching my car crash into the walls and spinning out of control had never been more fun. It was exactly just like how I did it years ago. I was a child again.

_____________________________________________________________

As I think back now, how many times have I played a game thinking I completely understood the concept of the game and that however I performed then, was my best. It seemed to me like its everytime. So often I have returned to an old game and told myself, 'Hey, why the hell was I trying to hard to get past this stage, all I have to do is climb up this ladder, run up the wall here, shimmy to the left and down the corner, followed by jumping opposite and reaching the ledge to activate the door.' It makes complete sense to me now, yet I was all but completely confounded then.

Therefore, I wonder if a few years down the road, would I look back at myself playing games like Left4Dead where I consider myself to be currently at or near my peak now and say, 'Dude, wtf. It's so easy to dodge a jockey all you have to do is blah blah blah...' Maybe I will, or maybe that revelation will never come to me. Just like Contra, I don't think I could do any better now than I did when I was in primary school.

But who knows?

This seems to apply to academics as well. In fact I think the link is pretty obvious, with knowledge comes intelligence. Maybe not the O level's just yet, but when you think back to secondary 1 or 2, you can't remember what the hell were you struggling so hard over. Algebra has since become a part and parcel of our education life.

With that, I wonder if I will ever look back and chuckle at the simplicity of the A levels, while at the same time be embarrassed at how much I feel threatened by it right now.

I hope I do.

Perhaps.

We saw it coming from a mile away. It sizzled, simmered, murmured half-forgotten hexes so the air around us crackled with a deep and dark magick; we were alive,

we were waiting, we were

dangerous/

beautiful/

insane

and desperate for rain.

Of Cuisines and Musings.

2010-08-10T17:19:00.002+08:00

A few of my friends and I were just trying to find a place to have a good lunch the other day after school. Well it was a Friday, we had a half day due to National day celebrations. We left school later than expected due to a Biology test and sad to say, most of our classmates were unable to make it for a class outing. Naturally, only the guys who were hungry enough went to eat.

So we went to scout for food over at Tampines Central. We tried Tampines Mall initially but to no avail as it was a half day for most people and we decided to go Tampines 1 instead.

We chanced upon this restaurant called F.I.S.H. Turns out it was kinda like a sister branch of Fish & Co. The deal they offered seems pretty enticing for a bunch of hungry guys and after some deliberation (which frankly wasn't needed), we entered and got ourselves a nice cozy four seater near the foot of the staircase - it has two storeys!

The deal was that we could order a main dish, and add an extra $5.90 for a salad buffet. That, or we could order a main course which has a dish and salad buffet included. I would recommend going for this instead as it is more worth it than the former deal. Unfortunately the menu wasn't as diverse and some of the choices look pretty similar. All of them had complicated names though and we didn't know what were we ordering other than the type of meat. Anyways, we each ordered a different dish and figured we could just share later on.

The moment we were done with the ordering, we set off for the Salad buffet. If right now, you're picturing four guys rushing off to a vast selection of cut vegetables and salad dressings, you are half wrong. Or half right. It doesn't matter. My point is, the 'salad' is not referring to your average mixed vegetables. No. True, there are a few such typical dishes there, but that's of it. Other choices vary from flavours like Seafood, Prawn + Pineapple (I love this one), Salmon and Chicken. These may serve as appetizers to spice up your meal and when you are ready to take on some heavy eating and the main dish has yet to arrive, feel free to rape the spaghetti available. (There might be shrimps in the Spaghetti FYI)

Overall, the splendid potpourri of Salads, complete with the generous selection of dressings from Caesar's to Thousand Island, to Parmesan cheese or even Sour Cream for the crispy Nachos, helped satisfy a few hungry men's stomach. As I said, this was a buffet so everything is free flow.

The rest of the meal was alright compared to the salads, which I believe was really the selling point of the restaurant. The main dishes paled in comparison. Or perhaps it was just the half Spring Chicken that I ordered. However the mediterranean fish tastes great and is reminiscent of the original fish and chips from fish & co. I guess fish is really their forte after all.

To add a note, there are magazines available for customers to read so really is a good place to hang out and just chill after a heavy meal. This, of course, denotes that the ambience and atmosphere is rather ideal for 'lepak' sessions.

Just to say that I don't usually write about restaurants but I was sincerely impressed by the presentation and the probably the spread too. Perhaps so much that I decided to dedicate a post to it. Sadly, no pictures were available but I assure you the next time I visit that place again (which I'm hoping will be sometime soon), I will remember to take some.

__________________________________________________________

On another note, four days of holidays just breezed by. This was supposed to be my transition period (insert puberty joke) yet I'm kinda just let it slip away. Seriously sometimes I don't know what to do anymore. I could just sit in front of the computer for the whole day and when night falls, regret eats at my soul, itself wounded and beaten. Begging, promising to start anew the tomorrow. Only to revert back to its old habits by the next morning.

Should this carry on, my A level results would be devastating.

Yet I am plagued by this disease I try so hard to get rid of.

My only salvation comes in the form of your voice. Even pixels that make up your face seems to help sometimes. Memories, however, are the real saviour, ever soothing the aggravated me, reminding that there is something, still left in this world. Someone, worth living for.

With that in mind, I shall hold on.

Ringed fingers. Hands clasped tightly, resting gently against the soft elusive sand.

Moodring shifting hues between shades of lavender, hazy amber, mermaid blue.

Thanksgiving on a winter night.

2010-08-02T16:17:00.000+08:00

Alright I know I kinda promised a friend of mine that I'll blog on Friday night, that now it's Sunday night and approaching Monday but hey, better late than never eh?

So it's been more than a month since I last entered a post. I have to admit, laziness was for the most part but I did really try to blog, however to no avail. I drew up a few drafts but kinda scrapped it after a paragraph or two. For some reason, I just didn't really feel like blogging. When I started out I did have the intention in mind of letting people to read my blog and having a steady number of followers. However I kinda got sick of churning out posts about my life (hold on, it gets hypocritical later) to entertain the hoi polloi soon after. Instead, I stopped publicizing my blog and tried to concentrate on using it as a well for me to pour my emotions and feelings into.

Although, as of recent times, it gets increasingly difficult to do that. Those who know me well enough and I trust, should know why.

Anyways, let's not dwell on that any further. Here comes updates.

Over the course of 1 month+, I've watched, like probably a dozen films or something, both in cinemas and torrents of older movies. Of course, Inception was a hell of a movie. As I've told many people, it is a 100% cinema material. If not, at least wait for a DvdRip or summat coz watching it on cam is seriously spoiling the mood, and totally ruining the experience.

Trust me on that one. So if possible, quickly go catch it before they stop showing it in theaters.

I was going to do a review but given the nature of the movie, it is pretty hard to do a good review without including any spoilers. Major spoilers are undoubtedly avoidable but its the little leaks that I'm afraid of. Even knowing lil' facts about the movie wouldn't be nice. In fact, don't even read the summary. Yeah, just go into the cinema without expecting anything but an adventure. That's all I can tell ya.

Or maybe you can just accept the fact that I'm prolly too lazy to do a review.

Oh and btw,

Tell me you see something here, seriously?

I mean it's Christopher Nolan. I respect the man for glorifying Batman and of course giving us Inception but you think with all that genius in him (he wrote the script for Inception FYI), he coulda done better with the posters.

Oh well, at least it was tons better than

Imagine the amount of effort they put into publicity for 'Yama & Shizu'. *Shudders*

On another note, I just caught this movie on Saturday night, while my parents were away on mahjong, leaving the serenity of an empty house all to myself. It's called Mr. Nobody.

Now, if you do check it out, please don't judge the film by its cover. Both literally and figuratively. First, you might have noticed that the main character is played by Jared Leto. Now most of you might have known him as the lead singer of 30 Seconds to Mars but in fact he is a pretty damn good actor and he was in Fight Club. Yes. Now that might just enticed you to watch the film. He's amazing in this film by the way as the plot and screenplay really brings his knack for acting to light.

At any rate, the film's tagline 'Nothing is real, everything is possible.' kinda gives you the feeling like you're gonna watch something similar to idk, Inception or something which is somewhat true? There might be some similarities you will find while watching the movie but at the end of Mr. Nobody, you will find it to be an entirely different experience. The film however, as I said, does exhibit the same feel as Inception.

While most films have a general direction that leads you along its plot, Mr. Nobody places you in the middle of nowhere. From thereon, the movie presents you with a ton of ideas, each only serving to make its predecessor seem illogical. Confused, you will be, but not lost. Most of the time I find myself questioning the point of the movie, and you would most likely too. Yet, you would still more or less understand the dendrites of the film. Wild guesses are most certainly welcome but until you are about 2/3 through with the film, they won't be easy to conjure. Till' then, the pandaemonium will only be tentative.

Once again, I implore you to check out this film. I'm pretty sure that many of us, in one way or another, can relate to the main character. Or at the very least the conclusion of the film, albeit not to the same extent. If you get it that is - the conclusion I meant, not the extent part.

So there you have it, I believe I am satisfied with my post and I promise I will try to blog more often. Disclaimer first, of course; With the new timetable I'm not exactly sure if I'll be able to keep up. But I'll try.

I should really stop letting the shadow of my past hold the present hostage.

A glimpse beyond the illusion.

2010-06-25T17:12:00.000+08:00

Well first of all, updates.

I got my Sony Ericsson back from the service center, after 3 weeks of using an old SE, to a friend's Nokia, to an old Motorola phone. I guess for those who don't own a separate mp3 and uses the handphone as one, it kinda sucks to have your phone being in service. Long commute becomes all but unbearable without the ability to drown oneself into music. Other than the usual habit of mine to observe people or daydream, its really agonizing to not be able to sing along to your favourite tunes blasting into your ears.

Secondly, there has been rumours that the Cuatro Fantasticos is having a reunion. Lol. After MYE though, right now it's just exams for everyone. Seems like it's time for La Thinga to make a comeback. I'm so stoked.

Hahahaha...

Well yeah thats about it.

Now what's left is to get my engine back to its former glory. C'mon I know I can do it. I should be racing along the lines on the asphalt, obliterating my competition with my supercharged v8 engine with its 1337 horsepower. All those rich people with stock supercars like Koenigsegg CCX or even a Bugatti Veyron, couldn't possibly stand up to me.

Well that's what I believe my epitome to be. Obviously I haven't reached it currently. The only time I ever achieved my top speed was after my SA2 during secondary 4. It was spurred by a desire so huge to overwhelm my competitors that I placed my pedal to the metal, charging my way through the crowd and leading the pack. Even with their nitrous boosts they could not catch up. And then as soon as it arrived, it disappeared. Just, poof. All of a sudden. After my prelims, I just lost it. Perhaps the engine wasn't mature that time. I don't know.

It was just like those wildlife documentaries you always watch on Discovery Channel or Animal Planet. You know, those vast plains of savannahs where the cheetah is filmed stalking the prey, slowly, inching his way towards it. Eyes fixed on target, muscles contracted and ready to spring into action. Then all of a sudden, it launches itself into a rocketed acceleration and leaving dust trails in its tracks.

What has my engine got to do with that, you might say. Well, something the cheetah gets the prey. Other times, well let's just say it was the deer's lucky day.

Like cheetahs, my little but high powered trusty engine seems to be able to only hold its maximum speed for a short while before lactic acid takes over and I have no choice but to slow down.

Which is why I'm afraid history would repeat itself. It may be an excuse, idk. But I felt that if I start to give it my all now, I would be burned out by the time the prelims arrive.

Well, I've been known to be a sprinter and not a long distance runner, after all.

Bottomline, I really hope to wake up before it's too late.

Salvation is slipping away, and I'm not letting go anytime soon.

On another note, I was talking to a good friend of mine about well, blogging. And I mentioned an analogy which we realized was pretty damn accurate.

You see what happened was that he had just recently updated his blog with 2 new posts in one night. Well, his blog. Its really a good place for me to just sit down with a cup of hot milo (cocoa for rednecks) and enjoy a good read. He usually have these interesting point of views that I can't help but agree. It has become more frequent in recent days by the way. The thing is, however, that he doesn't update it on a regular basis. (Still more often than me, though)

You never know just when these posts are gonna appear. I mean it could take days before he carves out a post. But good things are like that, huh?

So yeah imagine my surprise when I entered his blog address an hit 'enter' and saw two post updates the other day.

And I likened it to being like checking out for a new manga update and being surprised to see two new episodes.

Coz it's just like that. Seeing a different large crimson heading followed by a noticeably foreign wall of text just makes you think to yourself, 'Hell yeah here we go. Now what do we have here...'

Damn right, eh?

So that's about it. I'm still trying to overcome the laziness to shift into the 2nd gear and start rollin'.

Did not do much studying today. I'm afraid I'll have to rush through my chemistry and math tomorrow. Maybe even just a crash course would suffice, coz it seems like there ain't enough time left on the clock.

Still gotta conquer my Biology and Econs.

The war between students and A levels is starting. And I'm right smack in the middle of it.

Hayley, give me strength.

Lay your weary head to rest,

don't you cry no more...

You're not in Kansas anymore.

2010-06-21T18:13:00.000+08:00

Clock is ticking.

Time is running out.

Conditions have worsened. Slowly, but surely, I'm beginning to lose my grasp on reality. Asphyxiation is taking over my body. It's power, overwhelming.

That's right. Things have to be done differently from now on. No more familiarity. No. None of it. The habitual behaviour has got to change.

And I mean starting from now.

___________________________________________________________

So I've tried to begin my studying recently. I have to say, jump-starting an old, rusty engine is tough. You pull the starter cord again and again, each time with a more determined force, and the engine spurts out a choking cough before dying yet again.

How much time will pass before it rumbles to life, I ask. And even if it does, will it return to its previous glory? Will I be able to depend solely on the small little engine of mine to brave the waves and surf the rapids, and finally survive the grand finale - a plunge down the frighteningly colossal waterfall while braving the massive roars of the water colliding with the river.

It may be too early to say.

I still am not at my best. I hope however, to reach it by either one of the next 2 days or so. If I do not, well. Let's just say I'm fucked.

But no, I will not lose hope. Following advice from a close friend, I must look up and stay positive. For a pessimist, I need to be optimistic. With a little effort a day, I can do it. Start by making the right decisions. A small step at a time.

By the time the big A's arrive, I would well be sprinting and leaping across hurdles.

Ambitious? Yes. Idealistic? I think not.

I know I am up to it. If I can do it last year, I can jolly well bring out the fire in me once again. The fire that licks away at the walls that attempt to close in on me, combust the marauders that threaten my advancement. The burning crimson flame that lights up my world when a siege of creeping darkness envelops it.

Gird your loins, people.

After this week, it's going to be a fast and bumpy ride.

I have to be prepared.

And yes I do admit, it's a pretty difficult task to accomplish when I'm always missing you. Every thought makes the void in my heart grow.

How long will it be before I can finally cross this deep, dark chasm, over to your side?

I wonder, I really do. But it does not matter. For if an eternity it shall take, then an eternity I shall wait.

Please don't go now, please don't fade away...

Lovesick Melody.

2010-06-18T18:09:00.000+08:00

My hundredth post. Yeah.

I realized over the course of this 100 posts my blog has changed from something like an events log for me, to its current status. In which calling it a journal, or no. A Diary. Yes. That would be more appropriate.

It is where I pour most of my feelings out to. A place where I seek solace and salvation.

And right now, salvation is all that I'm looking for.

With a few days left on the calender, I am pretty much feeling freaked out right now. Taking a step down memory lane, I remember clearly a promise I made to myself. A promise to make good use of this holidays and do my catching up. To tell the truth, I haven't been studying. At all. I'm not gonna lie to myself and say I did because that little amount of math that I did? That right there, is shit.

Okay, so at least I went airport today to study. However in that few hours I only managed to do a bit of chem and that's that. In addition I ate Macdonalds again. Oh damnit. I realized I haven't exercised for quite some time too.

____________________________________________________________

Life is all about making choices.

I've been making the wrong ones so far. Or rather, recently.

That's gonna change.

Change huh?

The only constant in this universe.

Why is it so hard for me to achieve it. I try and struggle to even overcome the most basic barriers. I stumble and fall at the very first hurdle. Defeated, at the mere sight of a milestone.

They say one does not need to change for the one you love. The contrary would denote a false love. Delusion, so they say.

I believe otherwise. Perhaps it's because in my current predicament, believe is all I can do. I feel pathetic. I see you struggling to take flight and I offer my help.That's when I realized I could offer none. For I am worse than you. Like a seagull soaked in crude oil, I am powerless. Unsightly. Revolting. Unable to spread and wings and lift myself, I lay choking on the ground. Wallowing in the valley of darkness to the fact that I will lose you.

Thus I have to cleanse myself of this sludge. Start by making small changes, one at a time.

To actually change oneself, to alter the core beliefs, ambitions, mindset. Folly, you say? I think not.

Although I believe very much in loving one for who they are and not what they are, frankly, who I am now, disgusts me. This lazy son of a bitch. Good for nothing. Sorry excuse for a person, without a future. I do not want. I am unable to give you anything.

I am not who you want to look for.

I want to be able to bring happiness to you. To see even that little hint of a smile, the slightest bit of mirth, sparks a glow in my heart. When you are merry, so will I be.

I know I have to change to make myself deserve you.

To be a better man.

And I look forward to the day when you see me as more than what I am now. I shall not stop trying, until you're resting here with me.

Where I could hold you in my arms, and whisper in your ear the words I have kept inside me all this while. Where we would lay under a starry night sky. Blissful. You would smile, and rest your head on my shoulder. I would close my eyes and listen to the melodious and beautiful music that of you simply breathing.

A shooting star might streak across the cerulean night sky and I shall make a wish. A wish for time itself to stop. So that we can stay in this beautiful moment forever.

Utopia will then draw nigh.

Utopia. *Chuckles*

How ironic.

I realized I really do dream a lot. It seems that the most deluded one...is right here.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Perhaps the day will arrive when I can look into your eyes and call you mine. The thought alone makes my heart flutter and draws a sheepish smile on my face.

What a saccharine post this turned out to be.

Oh how wonderful life is, now you're in the world.

Memories, a schmaltzy and bathetic dish.

2010-06-13T02:11:00.000+08:00

It was a fine Saturday morning when I woke up today.

A soft yellowish hue of sunlight shone through my windows amidst streaks of silver. The dust, bathed in the morning glow began to dance in my vision as I slowly rose to greet the day.

I remembered as the thought ran through my mind.

Hesitantly, my hand stretched and reached for it, I looked at the robust metallic chassis and peered into its eye, no sign.

Not at all.

The star within me fell, losing its life as it collapsed almost instantaneously to form a white dwarf.

My wish has once again been void.

Shooting stars don't exist. After all, they're logically incorrect.

To base our hopes and aspirations on pieces of frozen space rock fleeting across the space is absurd, even criminally insane.

So why do I still try?

______________________________________________________

I miss the good ol' days.

When every weekend, homework was little, and pretty easy to complete for that matter.

Exams only involve studying for them the night before, and a pass would be all but guaranteed.

Instead, what we have now is fear, panic, and anxiety on the imminent examinations as we fret over the smallest details.

What a depressing sight.

Where was the carefree scene we used to perform in?

I want to wake up and be able to watch morning cartoons like before.

I want to hear the beautiful orchestra playing the Batman intro, to air-guitar to the Justice League Unlimited opening's guitar rifts. To hum along to the tunes that of Totally Spies. (Yes, I do watch that show.)

And it would be perfect if you were by my side.

***

But ultimately, Where has that utopia gone to?

Life as I know has deteriorated to a mawkish and insipid emblem of bane.

Now, I waste my very existence away staring at the puny 17-inch screen despite knowing that my future depends on this few weeks.

Whatever ounce of confidence of myself that I used to possess has since faded to a state of evanescent.

What the forthcoming holds in store for me, I would never know. But I could at least guess the outcome.

Is it good, or bad?

Cliffhanger sucks, so I'll say that I'll put my chips on the latter.

In sooth, I know not what to do with my life.

So many thoughts are running through my mind now that my thinking is obscured by a cloud so thick and omnipresent, darker than any of the thunderstorms nature can create, denser than any nebulae the space can fathom.

My vision bleeds as the resounding desire for your presence grows. Every electronic signal acts as a tourniquet to my rupturing soul as the vibration ironically soothes my nerves and contracts the zygomaticus major.

Which is why I need you. But the reverse, nada.

In this state I am not awake.

I need to be.

However that, I do not want.

i laugh, yet I cry.

Lachrymose

2010-06-11T12:55:00.000+08:00

*This post could actually be longer but as I was typing my Chrome crashed and when I restarted it the post wasn't saved.*

______________________________________________________

I finally got about blogging about the camp. The end of the camp marks the end of the 0910 batch's Exco's legacy too.

Are legacies perfect?

I don't think so.

This may be a sensitive topic to blog about for some, but I couldn't care shit.

During one of the interviews, a question was raised by one of the exco. It was about how you would deal with a conflict that might occur between you and another member of the exco.

I mean it was a pretty normal question, right?

Well it alright until a certain person mentioned, 'What if the person was of a higher position, particularly the President?'

Whats up with that?

I mean okay the President may be of a higher position and ergo, more authority but so what if theres a conflict. What makes it so different than a conflict with another person.

Personally, if I have a disagreement with someone I would just tell him/her straight to the face, provided I strongly believe that my point is in the right.

I mean unless its regarding personal affairs, I feel one should always state his/her stand.

Even if it means its against someone of a higher position.

Maybe I am just saying this because well, erm.. ya know...erm.. in this case...the erm.. pr*coughs*.... nevermind.

Anyways, back to the main topic.

We've officially stepped down, handed over the responsibilities to the new exco.

Everyone's been going about how confident they are of the new committee and stuff like that but I suppose that's prolly how the previous Exco thought of us too right?

And as much as we can try to extend the honeymoon period, there comes a time we entropy takes over and it will come to a halt.

Now don't judge me, for a pessimist I am already pretty optimistic.

Lol.

Anyways, I guess the whole point is that I kinda miss Guitar. A whole lot.

Yes I do.

All the times we spent together, doing shit that we like. Being stupid, yet having fun. Jammin' sessions and whatnot.

Hours spent practicing, evenings spent working on concert stuff.

Nights spend chatting over dinner, fooling around with each other.

It was like it was all just a dream.

Felt so surreal.

And the dream had just been interrupted by the ring of the alarm clock, penetrating the reverie in the form of the sudden realization of the need to study.

I don't wanna wake up.

Now, every morning of Wednesday and Friday, I will wake up, and sit on my bed. Spiritless. Feeling the lack of motivation to go to school.

There is nothing to look forward to.

School will be just plain boring.

No drive, no hope.

Something is just ... missing.

A void has manifested in my heart.

I don't like reality.

I despise it.

Call me naive, but I wanna live in this dream forever.

As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer

And I'll beg for forgiveness...

Like Francis on Painkillers.

2010-06-07T16:58:00.000+08:00

First day of camp.

We also had out first exco interview. With us as the interviewers, I mean.

It was a pretty fresh experience I must say, although for some reason something in me kept preventing me from asking all the questions that bugged me. Perhaps I shall try my best to conquer that barrier, and go all out to clear all my doubts tomorrow, or later.

We'll see how it goes.

Practice for J1 session today was win. Mostly because most of the time was spent jamming with my man Jay and also having wz as the singer. We did pretty well for Misery Business and Thats what you get IMO.

We should really start a band.

While the 'SLs' are playing their repetited songs, flaunting and squeezing every last bit of skill in them to showcase the J1s, the real 'jamming' occurs outside guitar room.

For the rest of us who just don't care no shit, we're satisfied with just a capo and a few guitars to sing and pour out the passion into every single note, evry single chord.

Well that was win. The memory, not my blogging. Blogging on a friend's laptop doesn't really help.

Whatever. Might need to wake up at 4-5 later.

2 hours to sleep.

I might as well end here.

Cya guys,
Later.

When I see that sparkle in your eyes, yet noticing the reflection was that of another.

Duped.

2010-06-05T13:44:00.000+08:00

After 3 years and a few months, my $5.90 mic failed on me in the middle of a skype call with a friend.

I figured that after so long, it has finally fallen. Well, perhaps it's time to get a new one.

So earlier on in the evening I took a short cycling trip down to the local mall and bought myself a new pair of mic+headphones. It seemed like it was the best cheap mic around, and did not look bad aesthetically too.

Hence, I got myself a deal. Or so I thought.

Reaching home I immediately went to try it out, and to my disappointment I discovered the sound quality to be below expectations and the mic does not seem to be working.

After checking here and there, I realized it only does not work with skype, but works fine with msn. Jovi, you should find this part familiar ahahahah.....

But well yeah, after meddling around with the setting I fixed the problem and got the mic working, albeit it was abit too soft for my liking.

And I discovered, to my horror, that my old mic was actually still working, just that because I was skyping at that time, I thought it was spoilt.

So now I had spent almost 20 bucks on a new mic, which I do not need.

And the ear hooks are kinda uncomfortable too.

Damn.

Silly me.

___________________________________________________

Still trying to get started on my studies. I know I should be feeling the urgency but surprisingly I do not.

Might start on Sun because tmr there's CO concert + GE dinner.

Maybe I should get some work done tmr morning.

Just maybe.

And here I stand. Alone. Happy.

Because you are too.

What I'd do...

2010-05-30T16:21:00.000+08:00

Just for you

Fool.

2010-05-30T10:05:00.000+08:00

Kinda bored outta my mind and thought I'll give a shot here since I'm too lazy to study.

Went to eat Astons for the first time yesterday. Slow, I know. But its never too late to start.

It was quite an impromptu outing actually. For some reason impromptu outings are always the sort that seem to work out. For Guitar mates I mean.

Yeah so anyway early in the morning my fren suggested we go over to his hood to eat. Since I haven't tried Astons, I figured what the hell, let's go.

And so after about an hour of discussion and planning we finalized on a meeting time and I used my epic googling skills to google street view the place. Pronto, I bathed and got dressed only to find out, to my horror, that my 3 year old Sony Ericsson K610i phone, after being charged for the whole night didn't gain any battery.

Not only did it NOT gain, it lost battery from 3% to 1%. What the fuck?

I panicked. Thankfully I was still online. Asking around I found a friend who was able to lend me her old handphone for the moment till my W705 gets repaired. Phew.

Or so I thought.

After borrowing the phone, I realized that it was all but perfect. The only flaw of the phone is that the mouthpiece is spoiled and cannot detect my voice. Wow. That's like precisely the problem my W705 had.

Lol.

But it was a nice substitute after all, and I sincerely thank my friend for being so generous.

Imma hang on to that 5300 for the time being yea?

Lawl.

And I almost forgot my point.

The point is, that the food there was awesome.

Due to peer pressure, I was told not to get the chicken. Therefore I tried the Salmon fillet instead, which was like whut 3 of us got. Well the salmon itself was alright I mean it wasn't amazing or anything. The texture could have been better in my opinion.

Or perhaps it was just me, the guy who prefers steamed Salmon to pan fried. Or was it grilled.

Anyways, we ordered a bottle of red wine to share between the 5 guys. They gave us an Aussie made wine initially but we settled for a French one eventually. Now I'm no wine connoisseur and hence cannot tell good wine from shit. And with a few good laughs I downed the blood red liquid into my throat, waiting for the heat to dissipated to the rest of my body.

It was alright.

And I spent less than 20 bucks for the seemingly expensive and classy meal. I guess that Astons for ya.

I have a feeling I'm gonna be a regular of that place. Lol.

Kudos for the recommendation.

But it was quite a sinful meal.

And for that, I went to work out last night. No, none of that wanking shit. That's not workout.

Running 3.4 km and then doing two sets of circuit training (noob one) is considered a workout for me.

At least a starter.

After a few days, when I'm in my high gear, we'll switch things up.

Here I come.

How can you say you're lost, when you know the door to my very soul.

Oh I get it. It's not the one you wanted.

What am I even saying.

A single step.

2010-05-27T21:27:00.000+08:00

So it has started.

The 'holidays'.

Gird your loins people, for 4 weeks of mugging await us.

Paradox?

A seemingly contradictory statement. Mugging during holidays.

Well it's the As after all, it fucks everything up, even logic.

Went for band's concert yesterday. I have to admit, my friend who was playing the percussion look fucken' cool especially with his moves and drumstick spinning. Hell he was the only one who was moving in fact. The others were actually kinda boring.

Then again, what can you expect them to do.

So we went to Lau Pa Sat to eat dinner/supper after the concert. A few of my friends decided to go browse the stores while we slowly make our choice. So on we walked, aisle after aisle of hawkers waiting outside their store, staring intently at us, hoping to earn every penny in our wallets from us.

But that ain't gonna happen.

For after walking for a while, we saw, to our astonishment, Wendy's Fast Food Restaurant.

"Whoa!" was all Pok and I said.

I mean we knew there was a branch or two in Singapore, but so far I haven't tasted the American fast food before. Hence we hastened our pace, and rushed inside to get ourselves some good filling all american food.

Fattening it may be, but worth, it definitely was.

Think I'm going back there to try the spicy chicken burger soon.

Wendy's anyone?

On another note, why do people always hover around, participate in chats whenever there are gossips. Yet when the topic is about the songs and entertainment, they seem to disappear completely. Afk, as they call it.

Ahh well, whatever.

I'm tired.

Perhaps I'll go watch a movie and then go to bed.

Shall wake up early tmr and run since I missed my chance due to the convo tonight.

Lol.

Aight cya later.

Cheers.

Although you're trying not to listen
Avert your eyes and staring at the ground

Disoriented.

2010-05-26T03:38:00.001+08:00

I am now back to using my shitting K610i.

My trusty W705 has since Saturday, failed to allow me to hear the other party during a call. As a result I had to on speaker mode every time I answer a call and it irritates me to irritate other people.

lolwut.

So yeah I sent it for servicing after school earlier on. Went to East Point where the nearest Sony Ericsson outlet is located. It is also where my friends are celebrating another of my bud's birthday. Unbeknownst to certain people, a few of us (the cool and the minority) decided to get him what every 18 year old male wants.

Alcohol, of course.

Whut were you thinking.

Oh and I forgot to mention that the last rugby SPE for this term was the best one so far. Great use of teamwork and fake-passes, evasions and scrum. We also learnt maul today but sadly no one tried it out on the field.

It's not like we didn't have the opportunity, it's just that we were not used to the idea I guess.

Heard next term's SPE is gonna be tennis.

Bleah.

Now don't get me wrong, I like tennis. But the teacher-ic of tennis?

Fail.

I really liked rugby. It's like such a man's sport. I sincerely think that Nordin's SPE without our class would have been boring. I mean if you were there watching us, you would understand me. Some of the guys from the other class are just plain pussies.

Then again I shouldn't flame so much.

But I just woke up at 1 hour ago. Thought I'll take a short nap from 9-10, turned out to be 9-3am.

Crazy shit.

Maybe I shall go read up on some Bio, or perhaps start on my math. Which I' abandoned since sampling.

Ahh fuck.

Cya guys,

Later.

And I will hold on, even if it means letting go.

Do not want to step down. Do not want.

2010-05-23T22:07:00.001+08:00

So I guess you've heard. Vivace! was a success.

Full house, in fact. I guess when you're sitting there on the stage with your friends and families watching you, a sudden sense of trepidation floods over you. Yet, when the spotlight shines on you, bathing you in its glorious yellowish hue, you can't help but be awash with pride. You feel invulnerable.

As your friends cheer you on, you tell yourself to give it all. You played the song like it's the last song you'll ever play. In a matter of seconds, you felt bereft of all stage-fright. All the notes that you struggle to remember, the rifts, the runs, start to pour in and fit together like the DNA swapping scene in Spiderman 1.

We performed, and ended our legacy with a beautiful C note. (For some of us)

Well I did mention that we'll go out in style, didn't I?

And yeah, we survived.

Lol.

Anyways the J2s have officially stepped down. :(

Makes me wanna cry.

I don't wanna step down.

Thank god for the J1 camp.

Oh you look so beautiful tonight.

Racemic Mixture.

2010-05-22T00:43:00.000+08:00

I guess this isn't a good time to be posting merry stuff.

But I just wanna say I got Gold for Napfa, something which I didn't expect at all.

It wasn't long ago when I was having trouble hitting Silver in my 2.4km run. Well I believe in willpower, and of course moral support. lol.

Thanks guys for cheering me on that day, and to the few that wished me luck.

You guys helped made it happen. (:

And to think I was freaking out about it on that day. Lol.

Anyways,

Guitar had been awesome this few days.

Until today.

Now I wouldn't exactly describe what happened, but its just the familiar case of 'things screwing up last minute'.

I know I haven't been participating much in the whole planning of the concert, and hence not feeling the full blow of the problem. However I am still a part of all this, and as much as I hate to be, I am very irritated and pek chek with the way the school is being biased against us and also how the teachers are interfering with everything.

MYOB, TYVM.

Why. Why can't you guys, just for once, let us do things our way. After all, it is OUR concert. Be a man, be like Burger King. Let us 'Have it your way.'

Nevertheless, we're champions. And we never say die. (lol corny much)

That is why we shall persevere, and press on. Nothing shall stop us.

Coz we...are the champions...of the world.....

We'll keep on fighting...till the end....

Crap that was lame.

Its 1.17 am. (Zomg Master Chief John-117 win)

I'm tired.

Let's go to sleep.

"Now I'm gonna count this off. And then we, shall rock." - Hayley Williams

And We'll go out in style...