Look up, look far.

I think it's time for me to mature. 

Or rather, I feel that I'm quite immature. 

How do I explain this. I don't think I'm childish, its just that I seem to be stagnant in certain aspects.

Dress sense:

I used to think I dress like shit. Honestly, my wardrobe used to consist of purely bermudas and tee shirts. My first denims were as baggy as ghetto jeans and together with my oversized tees I look like a china guy on his way to visit Sim Lim square. 

It's better now, though. I've broken into normal jeans/pants and shirts. I still possess an abnormal amount of bermudas that I love to wear (they're so comfy) and graphic tees; but when I go shopping I do try to get myself a couple of shirts rather than just grabbing whatever fits me.

However, shoes remain a problem. I was saying in bunk the other day that I need a pair of new shoes soon as my current vans are used for longboarding. As such, the soles experience a steady amount of grinding against the road particularly during footbraking and will be worn out soon. 

When asked on what shoes I was looking for, I mentioned perhaps a new pair of chucks or vans again, since  my current pair is dead useful and I've grown to love it. A friend then told me that it's time I get a pair of 'grown up' shoes. I assumed he was talking about moccasins or deck shoes since that's what he always wear but damn I hate those shoes. The design just makes the wearer look like an uncle. I don't see the style factor in them, nor do I understand why they are 'grown up' shoes. 

If I said I wanted shoes with lights when I walk and you tell me to grow up I would understand but hey, what the hell is wrong with sneakers? 

Perhaps I'm just not mature enough to 'see it', Some people say they are not for formal occasions, that I may agree, since sneakers might seem a little casual. 


Still, tastes and preferences changes. Who knows, few months down the road and you might see me donning a pair of grown up shoes. I might then look at people wearing sneakers and go 'Tsk, grow up you kids'.  

Or I may even be wearing leathers. 

Either way, I have a feeling I will stick to comfortable shoes for now. 

Moving on.



Writing:

I used to pride myself in my English proficiency. I know it's not very good, as I have never achieved an A for any major exams like O levels or A levels, which puzzled me because in school I've always scored well especially for essays. This notion of mine was further strengthened when I have friends who tell me my English is better than theirs and turn to me for help occasionally. 

Yet, I die a little inside whenever I read other people's writing, be it blog posts or creative writing pieces. Hell, even when reading articles like product reviews I tend to feel that my command of the English language is way inferior compared to theirs. Most of it arrives from vocabulary and sentence structure that they use. My repertoire of vocabulary seems pathetic when I see so many 'chim' words when I read their pieces. Also, the way they form the sentences to describe and express their thoughts is far more fluid and accurate than what I can ever do.

Perhaps it's NS that made me feel this way, since I lack practice. Perhaps not. 

Probably the latter. 

I've been told to read more books, something which I'm not very fond of. Yes, I do my fair share of reading, but only if I'm very interested. Even so, the thought of being able to do something else like watching shows or movies results in me chucking the book to one side. 

Another aspect is creativity. I've seen people who can come up with amazing pieces with only a few paragraphs. Yet I take pages to come up with a decent story. 

And don't get me started on poetry. That'll be something I'll never be able to master. 


That's why I feel I need to mature, as a writer. Reading would probably help in the technical department, but it wouldn't be as effective in sparking creativity. 

Sigh I feel so weak. 



On another note, I think I wanna lose weight.

For real this time. 

Been packing on the pounds, and I think its time I shed some.