Good Riddance.

It's been an eventful 2014.

I've managed to hit my one man liberty, which was a personal goal set by myself. I also enjoyed OCIP thoroughly, although I don't think I'd like to go for something like that ever again.


But

I failed my first stunt in cheer during a performance, which was pretty mind scarring.

I failed my first mod, which was Maths...you asshole.

I failed to chase my dreams.


And 


I fell in love, and got my heart broken.


And now.... now.


Now I don't even know where's my place in this world. 


Today was the last day of the year. 

I woke up feeling shitty, nose blocked, throat rough and head feeling like it's been hammered.

Didn't manage to wake up in time for Director's meeting and I feel like an asshole when I try to get my opinion across.


Went for lunch with friends, which was alright until I went to eat froyo with 2 friends who are an item. While queuing we met another 2 friends who are a couple also. 


I'm not sure what to make of it. 


Seeing the guys feed their girlfriends and sharing a cup while I look like a loser eating the entire cup by myself.

It all seems to familiar.

I realize I'm living an actual comedy. That I'm the fat friend of the group, the one who's always single and somehow funny because fat people somehow look funny especially when they're trying.

I don't know what to make of it.


I hate myself sometimes.





To think I ever thought I just might be able to win you over.



They say confidence can be faked until it is achieved. 





Would I be able to do the same with happiness?